:mad you all might want to delete this but here goes....
I caome from an abusive childhood and there as a lot to over come... yes I was on meds But Thank God no more. One of those things that was done was the burn thing...or throw out of the boat to learn to swim (which i never did, almost drown though) OOOOH!!!!! NO ONE has the right to hurt any child. NO ONE!!! I was a strict parent ask my DD and she will tell you that, but to hurt her NO WAY! We heat with a wood stove and with the grand babies we wouuld watch them very close and let them know ouch..hot.. and if one like the grandson did went to touch it scared me so bad that I screamed NO. and in turn it scared him so bad that he cried and I hugged but he never tried that again. We as adults should make it as safe as we can for the child and teach them what will hurt them. I've done the chair thing before too, As for the MIL here is a suggestion... tell her how you feel about this, if you can't talk to her (and I understand how your DH feels) write her. writing her will help you to get this out of your system, you might have to write more then one letter to get it right... and will give her how you feel in writing and she can refer to it after she gets over her first mad to see what you are saying. keep a copy.
Good luck and God bless and lead you in raising your children.