I Need To Vent

[Lilly]

I removed my original post due to some personal info I thought I might not should have posted. I appriciate all of your prayers, and concern.

[mommato3boys]

Lord, you are not the author of disorder and stess in our lives. I pray right now that you will send peace and calm in to Lilly's life. Father surround her with you love and protection. Send order and remove the stress. Stretch out your healing hand to and touch these health issues. And Lord if it for them to refinance their house then let them have peace with this decision.

 

Amen

 

 

If it means a chance of you loosing the house or being depended on borrowing money from dad to make the payments then yes I would refinance the house. I would borrow just enough to pay it off. Contact the VA about a home loan, I am not sure how that works but it couldn't hurt to know what all of your options are. Who knows you might be able to get a better rate, lower payments and short time till pay off.

[nana9]

I'm sending prayers for you. Do contact the VA and get started on trying for a loan or refinancing at the bank. As long as your Dad has any thing to do with the loan he will try to tell you how to handel your finances. and that will only lead to hard feeling between you.

[Deb2of9]

Also sending prayers out to you. Go for the refinacing. It may cause hard feelings to start, but it may help your relationships in the family to begin with. I know I have borrowed from and loaned to family members, but I try not to do it with amounts that will matter if not repaid. ( I always repay what I borrow, but I don't want hard feelings if they can not.) Money and family can sometimes just not mix. You should not have to live your life the way he dictates, just because you borrowed money.

 

 

[Skagitgal]

Lilly, This is gonna be tough, no matter how it plays out.

I have some suggestions.

1. Get your contract out,...read it well. Both you & hubby. Use paper & pencil to write down areas you don't understand. Go over them together. Keep the list for later. Did your father sign anywhere on your contract? Did you and/or hubby sign a note with your father concerning the money?

 

2. Go to the auditors office in your county seat. Ask to see a copy of your certified/registered house mortgage papers. This will tell you if your father has filed a lien against your house.

[He has every right to do this..if he can prove you owe him money]

 

3. If he has filed a lien...at this point you need an attorney, to help you unfold the tangles.

I'm assuming [a bad thing to do] that the origional bank wanted a substantial down payment[that your father supplied so you did not show another debt?]

 

4. There are steps you can take at this point; filing a homestead claim on your house will exempt some legal proceedings, etc. The best bet..see a lawyer. You need help.

 

OK, here comes the really hard part. Do you want your house, or do you want your independence?

 

To me, NO house is worth someone else calling the shots in my life. If this is your opinion..............then...............

This is where you & hubby have to stand up together and say. We are going to sell the house and pay you off Dad. Thank you for helping us get started. Then do it.

 

As for sobbing and sleeping. Take a deep breath. Understand every day you put this off, it only becomes harder. You are your father's child, but your allegience now must be to your Husband and children.

 

The Bible is very explicit about this transfer of loyality. We are to honor our parents, but cleve to our husbands.

 

Then, when the house has been sold and the debts repaid; you are free to become the family unit you need to be, buy and live where you can afford.

 

Use the good credit rating you acquired by paying off the house to jump start another beginning.

 

 

 

[cookiejar]

About.com talking about pros/cons in VA loans

 

 

http://homebuying.about.com/cs/valoans/a/va_home_loans_2.htm

 

http://www.va.gov/

 

http://www.homeloans.va.gov/

 

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