What would you do?

[LazyBear]

What if your Daughter Inlaw sends emails from an account using your son's name, but your son doesn't know she's doing that.

 

What would you do?

[SueC]

Oh dear,

 

a controlling person hurts so many people. You need to keep records of what is happening, because your saying what has happened wont be believed.

 

But can you contact your son at work? Maybe a quick phonecall asking him to ring you when it is convenient. From there just suggest that you are concerned he hasn't had your emails as he hasn't responded. Or turn it around, suggest that you are having troubles with your emails and when was the last time he wrote? Or ask if he got the message you left his wife, (make sure there is a message!) ask him to phone you on a regular basis as you are finding it hard to know when he is at home so you can ring him. Unfortunately at this point it is hard to seperate the wife's actions. He will feel he has an obligation to his wife first. So if keeping the peace at home means less contact with family, there is a strong possibility he will have less contact with you.

 

Other areas - make sure that emails you send have personal references that will only make sense to him, so he has to reply. At the end of the day just keep loving them both. Keep the communication lines open and keep reaching out.

 

[mommato3boys]

Well it won't be pretty but I am just mean and ornery enough to print the stuff off, have them over for dinner and serve up the emails for dessert.

 

[ArmyOfFive4God]

Call him at work. That's what I'd do.

[anna]

I'd start a folder with printouts of all her garbage.

 

BUT I'd ignore all her meanness and be so sweet that she'd gag. Kill her with kindness. You don't have to be sincere, but try not to let your real anger and hurt show. Nothing makes a person trying to hurt you more upset than not succeeding!!

 

If the day ever comes when your son raises the question as to what the heck is going on, smile sweetly and hand him the folder.

 

If your son doesn't catch on, drop some broad hints, such as saying you're sorry his dw doesn't want you to see your grandchild but you'd still like to have occasional pictures and to be able to send gifts. And if d-i-l rejects gifts, open a savings account for your grandchild and let your son know that since you're not allowed to send gifts you'll be depositing the gift money into an account for grandchild's future. Start a box and put letters, birthday, Easter, Christmas etc. cards in the box so someday you can give it to your grandchild as proof that you loved and thought of him/her thru the years. That along with a savings passbook will make d-i-l look exactly like what she is.

 

I feel your pain. BTDT and still not happy about it. Two grandsons that we haven't seen in years and they are now adults, but they still don't cross mommy dearest. That woman can throw the worst tantrums I've ever seen. Must have been very frightening for two little boys growing up. I can't help but hope that when her sons marry she gets two d-i-l's just like her.

[JCK88]

In addition to Anna's advice (which I second heartily) I would communicate with my son by registered mail. (It can be only signed for by the person to whom it is addressed) Or, I would call him at work and arrange to have lunch with him for a heart to heart.

 

 

I would keep copies of anything she sent and I would keep copies of any of my emails that were not answered or which I suspected was deleted. I would not put anything in writing which could be used against me.

 

Hugs...keeping you and yours in my prayers.

 

[Leah]

When the time comes that he realizes what is going on, please do NOT say 'I told you so' in either words or actions...

My sister had that problem with a son-in-law, ripping up Christmas cards and all. Eventually it has worked out, but only with time and too much heartache all around...

 

Hugs, hugs, hugs...