Linda Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 how are you holding up?? how is your Dad doing?? We are here if you need us. And in our thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself Quote Link to comment
mrszouave Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 For sure Goosie......just wanted to add my thoughts to theyd's......so sorry to hear about your dad. Big hugs! Quote Link to comment
logcabinmama Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 Adding mine too. Please keep us updated with news, Goosie. It helps when you have someplace to come to. Praying for your family. Quote Link to comment
Snowmom Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 Thank you all so much for all your prayers and encouragement. Dad's getting very weak and my stepmom is having a hard time getting him to eat anything. We're going to spend the weekend down there. It's difficult, because I don't know my dad very well. He can't talk much and we don't know what to talk about, but it's clear to us that he really appreciates us being there so that is where we're going to be. I'm doing ok, I guess. I can tell the stress is beating up my thyroid because the "brain fog" is getting bad and all I want to do is sleep......otherwise, my sisters and I are just doing what needs to be done. My dad was excommunicated from his church many, many years ago. We're trying to get him reinstated. So far they have been willing to have a talk with him, but they're not big into offering comfort. They're doing an "investigation". Hopefully, they will reach a positive decision and it will be in time for him to know about it. The funeral homes weren't much help. One even told my sister that he was not required to handle an "account" for free. We weren't asking for that anyway. Anyhow, we found that by going through a crematorium directly we can have cremation for under $600, and between the three of us we can handle that. My dad's brother also wants a visitation and he's willing to pay for that part of it as well. It looks like we're going to be able to take care of things with dignity, and that means a lot. My poor step mother didn't know what she was going to do. Just as an FYI, I have learned that honorably discharged veterans can be buried in VA cemeteries. The plot, the headstone, plus opening and closing the grave is at no charge. Had Dad not wanted his ashes scattered, this would have been one very good possibility. Thanks again for all your prayers. Patty Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 (((((GooseLiver))))) What a tough time........I'll be prayiong for you and your family.....and for the situation with the church! Quote Link to comment
Linda Posted February 19, 2004 Author Share Posted February 19, 2004 Dear Gooseliver I have been thinking of you and your family all day. Hon, please take a little time to catch your breath. Would do me a favor??? Close your eyes, close your mouth, breath deep and slowly through your nose; then exhale.. then take your right hand and reach acroos your chest and put your hand on your left upper arm, now do the same with the left hand. now squeeze. that's a hug from here. Quote Link to comment
Snowmom Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Thanks so much for the hug! I really needed it! Quote Link to comment
gardnmom Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 I know how you feel, it took us 2 years to pay for my Dad's funeral, but then we have known the undertaker all our lives and he just let us pay it by the month til it was paid. We did set a minimum payment, but generally were able to pay a little more. (((((Gooseliver))))) Quote Link to comment
Snowmom Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 The situation with my dad continues. The Hospice Nurse told us Thursday that his systems were shutting down and they didn't expect him to live throught the night. On Friday he was better and by Saturday he was sitting up in bed and greeting his brother when he came to visit. I don't expect this to be a recovery, but I guess he still has some things to do and he's sticking around to do them. In the mean time, I really need to start taking better care of myself. I was limping along with my own self-care for a long time. Then when my dad got so sick and my life got even more chaotic than it usually is, the stress and chaos put me in complete eating binge mode. I also have gained about 20 pounds since my low weight last summer. I can't breathe due to the asthma (or thyroid related breathlessness - don't know which, I STILL think I don't have asthma--if I had asthma, then asthma medicine would help, right??), and my thyroid anti-bodies are up. So, I'm getting the sugar back out of my diet and I'm starting to walk a little every day. I'm trying to stay calm. Thanks for all your help and support. It means a lot to me. Quote Link to comment
redhenfarm Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 Goose Liver: Yes, do take care of yourself. It can be hard to concentrate on that during times of stress like you are in right now. I remember well the "Whopper" (Burger King) had their big sale going when my Dad was in hospice and way too many made their way onto my body during that time (oh, but they were so cheap!). Hope you get the breathing thing worked out. It would seem if it was asthma the allergy meds would work. Keep us informed so we can support you. Jan Quote Link to comment
HapyGirl Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 {{{{{{{{Goosie}}}}}}} Stress can also make your chest feel tight. Taking care of you is very important too! Hope you feel better soon. Quote Link to comment
Snowmom Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Thanks everyone, for your wonderful support. My dad passed away yesterday. I am so appreciative that we had a little time with him before he passed. Other than that, I have to take comfort that he is out of pain. I have missed my dad my whole life, and it looks like I'll go right on missing him. Quote Link to comment
Linda Posted March 1, 2004 Author Share Posted March 1, 2004 ((((((((((((((Gosseliver)))))))))))))) Quote Link to comment
HapyGirl Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 {{{{{{{{{Goosie}}}}}}}}} I am sorry for your loss! Our thoughts and prayers are with you Quote Link to comment
mrszouave Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 My Sincere CONDOLENCES GOOSIE !! Quote Link to comment
redhenfarm Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 ((((((((((((((Goose Liver)))))))))))))))))) So sorry to hear of your Dad's passing, but understand you are relieved he is out of pain. We're here for you. Jan Quote Link to comment
logcabinmama Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 I am so sorry to hear this news, Goosie. ((((((((((Goosie)))))))))) P. M. me is you would like to, I'm a good listener and have been through this. Quote Link to comment
Becca_Anne Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 Goosie, you're in my thoughts. Try to concentrate on taking better care of yourself. Have some fresh fruit around to munch on instead of junk. You probably don't have an appetite anyway and fruit will give you some much needed vitamins. Taking a walk often will not only clear your head but help with your body's circulation. Those are two things that are simple yet productive. You're in my thoughts and prayers, mommafitz Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 I'm here if you need to talk. Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Sometimes, Sweetie, that's the best that we can hope for. Go ahead and grieve for what you didn't have in your life, then build what you need in your life. Surround yourself with people who understand and will love you no matter what. Like us. May your heart find comfort during these last goodbyes. Quote Link to comment
ozzzyyy Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 ((((((((Goosie))))))) With love and prayers, Quote Link to comment
gardnmom Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 I'm so sorry for your loss.... (((Goosey))) Quote Link to comment
Snowmom Posted March 5, 2004 Share Posted March 5, 2004 Thanks again to everyone. You will never know how much your kind words have helped me. Each and every one of you has encouraged and supported me in unique and special ways, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. We did learn that my dad's church reinstated him before he died. We were told last Thursday that he wouldn't make it through the night, however, he waited until after his church Elders visited and told him about the reinstatement, before he he crossed over. He died on Sunday (leap day). On Tuesday I believe he visited me. He brought me a feeling of peace and joy and reassured me that he was ok. I also felt his humour, and a feeling that he was so joyous to know that God had never truly left him. I'm still "weepy" and I imagine I will be for a long time. My dad suffered so much in his life, as did we, due to his addiction. I think I'm only beginning to understand how much it cost him, how much it cost all of us. It does give me peace to know he is free. Quote Link to comment
Linda Posted March 5, 2004 Author Share Posted March 5, 2004 (((((Gooseliver)))) how wonderful for you to know of his peace. and the good news about the church. you weep all you want; i did reading your post. Quote Link to comment
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