You might be a redneck revisited..

[Jewlzm]

You Might Be a Redneck if...

 

 

You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree.

 

 

You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.

 

 

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

 

 

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

 

 

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

 

 

You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

 

 

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

 

 

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

 

 

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

 

Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

 

 

You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

 

 

You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

 

 

You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

 

 

You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

 

 

You have a rag for a gas cap.

 

 

Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

 

 

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

 

 

You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

 

 

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

 

 

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

 

 

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

 

 

Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

 

 

You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

 

 

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

 

 

You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

 

 

You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

 

 

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

 

And last, but not least...

 

 

Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!

 

 

 

 

[HSmom]

Originally Posted By: jewlzm

You Might Be a Redneck if...


1. You come back from the dump with more than you took.


2. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.


3. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

1. We used to have the best trips to the dump with my uncle. He'd take us kids with him, leaving his wife and my mom at home with the babies. We'd be gone for hours, sifting thru junk, then finding, picking and eating berries. I loved it. Sure made my mom-n-em mad though.

2. My van holds two bales with the kids, three without.

3. Hey, now!!! You gotta do what works.

[cookiejar]

If your richest relative buys a house and you have to come over and take off the wheels...

 

 

If you've ever taken a beer on a job interview

 

 

(One for the ladies)

If you've ever worn a strapless dress with a bra that isn't

 

I love these!

[Jewlzm]

You may be a redneck if any of these

situations sound familiar.

 

Your wife has ever said, "Come move this

transmission so I can take a bath."

 

Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave

a bingo game because of her language.

 

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

 

The dog catcher calls for back up when visiting your house.

 

You can entertain yourself for more than

an hour with a flyswatter.

 

You can't take a nap without at least one

hand tucked inside your underwear.

 

You've ever stolen toilet paper.

 

You think "cur" is a breed of dog.

 

Your screen door has no screen.

 

You've ever eaten out of a minnow bucket.

 

You have hubcaps on your house but none on your car.

 

You bring a bar of soap to a public pool.

[strugglingmom]

Ya know yer a redneck:

 

If yer kids eat dog biscuits fer a snack and the dogs dont.

 

If ya barbeque on the back porch in the middle of a snow storm so ya don't over heat the house.

 

If ya use your beer cans as a burgler alarm system.

 

 

[michelle]

Originally Posted By: Jewlzm

You think "cur" is a breed of dog.

Then just what exactly is it?

[Louis1]

Originally Posted By: michelle

Originally Posted By: Jewlzm

You think "cur" is a breed of dog.

Then just what exactly is it?

Cur is a breed of dog, right?

They are good dogs, a little ornery sometimes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catahoula_Leopard_Dog

[michelle]

Thats what I thought! See I'm not a redneck!

[zzelle]

too cute