Trip Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Subject: Questions on Aging Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore --- under fiction. Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done, you will have a place to live. Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found? A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's a** all the way to Egypt." Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year-old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant. Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly --- wrinkles? A: Take off your glasses Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face? A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out. Q: Why should 60+ year-old people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car. Q: Is it common for 60+ year-olds to have problems with short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem. Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon. Q: Where should 60+ year-olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads. Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year-olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember these." Link to comment
Jeepers Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Originally Posted By: Tripwire Subject: Questions on Aging Q: Where should 60+ year-olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads. Okay, that one is not funny! Today while playing organizing my pantry and involved with food, I put my hair net on. Oh yeah, it's a lovely sight. Sometime during the day I slid my glasses on top of my head. When I tried to put them back on, they were tangled in the net. What a mess. The first thing I thought of was this thread. I have no life away from here. Link to comment
Cat Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 (Found a few that fit well here...) Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure." My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker. THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. AND... The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. :24: Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.