I Wonder When....

[Carie]

Hello ladies! I hope that all of you are all well. We are good here. Last night we had dh's family here for Christmas (a total of 13 people). It was nice. This morning, my mom brought Christmas gifts down and dropped them off. Several packages for each of the kids, one for me (I peeked, it is body lotion). There wasn't anything for dh. For some reason that hurts me. My dh didn't do anything to deserve the way that they are treating him.

 

I am really hoping that we move quickly. I know that won't help the emotional stuff but I am just really need to be done with this. We had a huge snow storm last week. We live down a long drive. My brother lives at the road end. My brother or father usually use the tractor and blade to clear the driveway. This time they cleared my brother's end but no farther. We had our minivan stuck on our part of the drive and my parents and brother stood at their house and watched my dh and 2 older sons spend ALL DAY LONG shoveling, pushing/pulling the van out. That is so frustrating. We didn't do anything here. We didn't do anything wrong and they are acting like we are the criminals here.

 

I'm feeling sad today. Just glum I guess. I prayed and asked God to be my parents for me and my friend. My mom and I were best friends. I am missing that closeness. I hug my daughter and pray that I won't make these mistakes with her. I want to be her best friend. But I know we all make mistakes. I pray that I will realize when/if I am making one and apologize.

 

Anyway, I hope you are all well. I still need to wrap gifts but otherwise we are good here. I bought gingerbread village kits for the kids and I to make Christmas day. We are going to rent movies to watch as well while we wait for dh to get home from work. I'll let you know how it goes.

 

Hugs,

Carie

[SueC]

As I read this I couldn't help but think that there are all sorts of ways to deal with this, but they would hurt more people. Then I smiled. Every time this happens, then DH needs to personally thank them for the greatest gift they ever gave him ... their sweet wonderful daughter! he could add that evry time there is a special occasion, that it reminds him of this special gift. The flip side of this, is that every time he has the opportunity, he can / should pray and thank the Lord that they gave their daughter to him, asking for God's blessing on them and their lives. You see the bible tells us to pray for them who despitefully use us. Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:28.

 

If you do this and let the children see that it is happening, they will learn such a valuable lesson. They will see that even when it is tough they can still pray for someone who is hurting them, they can still be thankful for what that person has already done for them.

 

 

when does it stop feeling weird? - probably never. It is natural to expect that your family will always love you no matter what.

 

For the next few days - enjoy what you do have, enjoy the time with your children, and continually pray for awesome blessings for your family. And when they gloat that that awesome blessing happened, smile and say how wonderful we have praying that you would receive awesome blessings this year.

[Carie]

Thank you Sue for that reminder. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself! We are very blessed with great friends that love us and we will always have each other. Just one of those days I guess.

 

Blessings,

Carie

[MomM]

SueC such wise words. (((((Carie))))) You are richly blessed with your DH and children. Count your blessings. Have a blessed Christmas and a peace and joy filled New Year!

[MomM]

Carie you're allowed to have moments like that, but remember you are blessed indeed. Your DH and sweet children love you and we all do too.

[themartianchick]

Although I understand that none of this situation was of your making, I can't help but wonder what your mom is feeling today. My guess is that this is pretty difficult for her, too. (Though she may not admit it!) She still loves you. She is angry and it may or may not pass. All you can do is embrace your children and be there for them. At some point, your mom may come around to your way of thinking and want a closer relationship again.

[Carie]

Yeah, I know it is hard for my mom. My dad is a hard man to live with and he has/is making this situation worse. She didn't help it out at all but most of the terrible stuff was his doing. She and I talk, maybe once a week or so and she comes to see the kids and is always welcome here. But I am having trouble forgetting the stuff she said. A lot of trouble. I have always been the forgiving one, this isn't the first time that they have been mean and hateful and I always manage to shrug it off, but this time I'm not doing that to myself. I just keep getting hurt and my dh and kids are getting hurt and it just isn't fair. I think she hopes that I will forget or something and maybe I will, but it wouldn't hurt to hear an apology. I know that I need to be the bigger person, but I'm having trouble. And everything is still fresh. That doesn't help. So I pray for her, and my dad and brother. My hope is that the relationship with my children and their grandparents can be restored eventually.

 

Blessings,

Carie

[Annarchy]

(((((Carie)))))

 

 

It is a hard thing to forgive the hurtful words of those we love the most. Even more so when they pretend nothing ever happened or was said. I struggled with it for years until I realized it was not my problem. I know that sounds weird. My problem is forgiving and letting it go, knowing they are the ones that need to get a grip and deal with what ever is causing them to be so mean. Something they never do. I know.

 

I've cried, lamented, prayed, begged, and hoped for apologies that never came or ever will. Then, decided I'd let it go, (but not forget), and love them anyway. In a couple of instances, the love I freely gave eventually broke through the ice and we can talk now without the crap. ~Sometimes~

 

Remember God loves you and you have been blessed with a loving husband and children.

 

[Becca_Anne]

(((((Carrie))) Once you are gone it will become clear who the real problem child is. You just focus on your DH an sweet babies and love on them and hopefully your parents will eventually apologize If they don't forgive them, but rememvber It's o.k. to walk away and just say I love you but I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore.

[Girl Next Door]

Why are they hateful to your DH?