Stephanie Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 Being the Mom of seven children who are still at home has it's challenges and it's rewards. I'd love to hear from others who have large families. Any tips, advise, concerns? Keeping the peace is one issue I struggle with a lot! Link to comment
zzelle Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 we only have three but still a hand full they are 5,4, and 2. Link to comment
VaMom Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 We have five,20,16,15,13,and 8. It gets very interesting but never boring. Link to comment
HannaLee Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 I have eight, aged 12 and under. My biggest tip is to teach each child how to help around the house, no matter their age. Clean up around here only takes a few minutes. Maybe a half hour at the most to clean up after dinner and make everything 'company-ready". It can't all fall on Mom's shoulders! I love my life and actually have lots of free time to sew, cook, etc.! Link to comment
Stephanie Posted June 16, 2008 Author Share Posted June 16, 2008 zzelle, I think preschoolers should count as 2kids!! lol! I have to admit, I'm glad to have my youngest already turned 4. VaMom, yes, I often say that none of my kids can ever say we lived a boring life! One adventure after another! Mommaofmany, I think being a good home manager must include delegating chores. Especially with homeschooling, everyone must do their part. I also have a philosophy....divide and conquer!!! LOL! Link to comment
Shandy Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 I have 8 children, but one is grown with 4 of his own. The others are 14 to 3 years old. Actually, we have a small glut of kids right in the middle. My oldest son is almost 28. Then we have 6 kids between 14 and 8 (1 adopted, so a set of twins one blond and pale, one richly black), and then my 3 year old. I love having a large family. But sometimes it gets really LOUD around here. My greatest challenge is that I'm a loner. I fill up by being alone. I can go a whole day without talking, and enjoy it. I love love love working (housework, outside work, writing, studying, whatever), but I love working alone. I am so blessed God gave me a hyper-social husband and all these kids and grandchildren to pry me out of my comfort zones every day. My husband asked me one evening where I thought I'd be today if we hadn't married. I told him I would be a librarian or something to do with old dusty tomes and people who love to read, and spend my extra time going to weird concerts and dances from other countries, and eating organic vegetarian lasagne, and wearing only cotton and berkies and have a huge collection of strange dangly earrings. And I'd be so lonely. Instead I wear jeans with holes in them and whatever t-shirt I grab first. I have a decent collection of weird earrings, and do spend time reading, but it's in my living room with all my family around me. So I do hang out with a lot of readers. No exotic concerts or dances, unless the impromptu things we do in our living room can be considered exotic. And organic is a bad word to my husband...he thinks if something is organic, it has tofu in it. (We do eat tons of organic, but my husband doesn't know it. It's best that way.) I left my vegetarian ways at the altar years ago. And I'm DEFINITELY not lonely! I enjoy the people I get to live with, even tho my heart gets broken from time to time. It's so worth it. It's a great life. I was just sitting out in my backyard after a long day working outside, watching my little 3yo man reaching thru the fence to feed leaves to the goats, and chattering away at them. My 13 year old daughter was running with wild leaps across the lawn to turn the water on in the garden, her long blond hair flowing out behind her, her cut off jeans dangling little white strings around her knees, her feet barefoot and flying. And my apple tree was loaded with apples, right between the two. I asked the Father, "Am I going to have all this taken from me? It's so perfect in my world. Is this what we humans always try to do? Try to get back to Eden, create a little Eden whereever we land? I've got mine. Thank you, Father." I love being part of a big family. Link to comment
Shandy Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Oh...my tip? Listen very carefully, very purposefully. Link to comment
fostermomma Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 We have seven and I would love to have more. My tip is to take the time to really enjoy your time with your family. Kids grow up so fast. They are grown and gone before we know it. I love having a big family. There are challenges at times but, it is wonderful. Link to comment
Stephanie Posted June 17, 2008 Author Share Posted June 17, 2008 Originally Posted By: Shurleen I was just sitting out in my backyard after a long day working outside, watching my little 3yo man reaching thru the fence to feed leaves to the goats, and chattering away at them. My 13 year old daughter was running with wild leaps across the lawn to turn the water on in the garden, her long blond hair flowing out behind her, her cut off jeans dangling little white strings around her knees, her feet barefoot and flying. Shurleen, I enjoyed reading your entire post, you truly do have a way with words. But this part just touched me. I have these same feelings so many times. Life is so sweet that I am overcome by the goodness of it. Thanks so much for sharing! Link to comment
TXQFMom Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Mom of 10 so far here... with 8 at home... at home is 18yod, 15yos, 13yos, 10yod, 6yos, 4yos, 2yos, 3mos.... I am blessed with lots of BOYS... the 2 oldest are boys too 22 & 25... Honestly... I love my dc and I love my life! The other day my 4yos was admonishing his 2yo brother "Micah eat you oatmeal!", "Micah pick that up" LOL I told my dh poor boy has 8 parents! Not that we pass things off... but that the dc step up. It is an incredible blessing. My dd took this pic last night of my 2 youngest... I think this sums it up. And this was my group during a snow this spring... I am blessed that my dc love and enjoy each other as much as I enjoy them! Oh my advice if you have boys... any dc, but boys especially ... teach them young to WORK. Let them know they are a VITAL part of your family. Not just that they have *chores*... but that this life is a family thing and you depend on them. They rise to the occasion wonderfully. Link to comment
Stephanie Posted June 17, 2008 Author Share Posted June 17, 2008 I love the pictures!!! I want to add some, but don't know how. Your children are lovely! And I agree with the advice on the boys. My husband is doing a Bible Study/Devotional book with the boys called "Created for Work". Link to comment
TXQFMom Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Shurleen... yep you do. LOL We own that book. Very good. Seriously... we could not get this all done if it was just mom or mom & dad... everyone works here and the goal is to make work enjoyable as much as possible. I do not like rotating chores... I prefer that a child be responsible for certain areas. Can others step in? yes, but overall... you have a certain area. And when it is time to pass along that job to the next child YOU are responsible to train them... There is a lot of crossover because my boys each work with their dad... 2 days a week each in the summer and 1 each in the winter. So whoever is home picks up the slack. But overall I have Chicken Boy Goat Boy Cat Boy Rabbit Girl (who is also Dog Girl) Goat Girl I agree with Shurleen on active listening... and doing lots of talking too... I was in my 30's before I knew which political party my mom was... I want my dc to know MY values and WHY I hold them. I am NOT big on reinventing the wheel... I think they CAN learn from our mistakes. We believe in presenting a *united front* as a family. A weird little thing, but my boys enjoy dressing alike and especially like dad... so I do my best to keep matching clothes available. When my dh needs both older boys for a work day they come up with a matching outfit together. This is just us... Share your faith with your dc... share the why of your faith... study & memorize the Word together. Play games together, laugh, sing, dance together... Focus on blessing each other... we play a game called Secret Service Agents... where you draw a name for the week and try to bless that person... especially sneaking in and doing their chores for them without being caught. We are on a break from the game right now, but still my dc sometimes do it just because... of course that is how my boys ended up milking.. they surprised their sister one day by getting up early and doing it... now... LOL they do am milking. Link to comment
Stephanie Posted June 19, 2008 Author Share Posted June 19, 2008 TXQF, I got so tickled reading the list of "Goat Boy" etc. It sounds just like our family! I really like your idea of doing chores until they're passed down. My 8 yr old son is often complaining....why do I have to keep doing....whatever.... And I say, because that's what you can do and do well. He never seems to appreciate the wisdom of my answer as much as I do. Oh and here's the way I figured out to share a picture, I did a couple on the Adoption Option thread too. But this is the whole gang with my sweet 88 yr old Grandma. My Grandma, my Husband, Me and our Seven Children Link to comment
Psalm23 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Wow, you are all so blessed! I am the mom of 5 but I only have 2 left at home!! It is amazing how often I think of how quiet it seems now...especially because the 2 oldest live far away. Anyway, some times I think it was easier with more in the house because everyone got to (and had to) share the fun and the work. Mine are now 28, 25, 22, 15 and almost 13. Link to comment
MamaTiger Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Not that large a family here as we only have 4 children living, but to most of the *world* it's big. LOL Our's are 11, 10, 8, and 7. And work is a big part of our life too. Each has chores in the house and chores on our little homestead too. We have rabbits, chickens, broilers (at times--that we grow out and butcher and eat), beef cows (a very small herd), a milk cow, and pigs. This week my boys have been helping their daddy build a new pen for our pigs. And fo rthe past 3 weeks we've been picking wild blackberries every day. Each person in this house, including the dc, contributes to our well being and helps to provide food for our family and keeps the household running. It takes ALL of us. Link to comment
Stephanie Posted June 20, 2008 Author Share Posted June 20, 2008 Psalm23, I try not to think of those days when they've grown and moved away...well, now some days I think about it quite a bit!! LOL JK MamaTiger, You're right, lots of people would consider 4 large. I know that one year ago when I still had "only" 4, I consider it MORE than enough. But then God... My hubby and my three oldest boys are at camp! They are having a blast and I'm so proud for them. BUT, I'm soooo tired. They really do so much of the heavy work around here. So, in addition to caring for the 4 youngest, I'm also doing all the watering, animals, feeding, walking, pool maintenance, etc.. I think I'll give them a raise!!! As soon as I get one!! Link to comment
Deb2of9 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Large families sure present problems ( or should I say challenges), but they are worth it. I wanted to have a large family, unfortunately not only did I only have two girls, they are 12 years apart so it has almost been like raising two onlies. Yesterday my daughter's plan for watching the other kids backfired. I left her house with her husband sitting on the couch. Six of the kids were in the living room while she was in the bathroom cleaning up # 3 grandson.I was leaving and #4grandson ( 20 months) was trying to leave with me. Told everyone bye and everything. ( He has a speach problem, so they are teaching him sign.) I told my SIL that he was trying to leave with me, he thought it was cute. That was until about 10 minutes later. #5grandson has problems and was turning blue so he needed a breathing treatment. My SIL told the older kids to watch the younger ones because my daughter was still in the bathroom bathing the other one. (Not quite potty training yet, he sure was a mess after #1granddaughter tried changing him.) Suddenly some lady came in the house (without knocking) yelling at them about watching their kids. It seems #4 grandson meant it when he said he was going bye bye with grandma. He got out of the house and was walking down the road (Highway through this little blink and you miss it town). HE was going to granma's. It was funny except for the fact that he came close to getting hit. All is well, and all of the older kids that were suppose to be watching him are grounded. The cops came by afterwards and my daughter actually told them that if children services wanted to come investigate that they would have to wait until after the second as her schedule is too busy until then. ( 4 of the kids all have health problems, and there is no way she was cancelling appointments.) Too bad the husband can't be grounded too. I am sure my grandson got out of the house right after I left, and I told them that he was trying to leave with me. He ignored it. He should have atleast had one of the kids grab him when he tried to go with me in the first place. So he should be grounded too. Can you ground husbands? I dont think she would get away with that.End result is that she has six of them with her going to the doctors today to make sure that they do as they are told. I have one of them only because her van is a seven passenger not a ten. She can't legally fit them all so I am keeping the 4 year old today.Would have kept a younger one but the three youngest are the ones with the doctor's appointment.The funny thing yesterday, is this 20 month old took the lady to his house, signing all the time where his Mommy was. How many 20 month olds could find their own home. Of course a kid wandering off is not something that would happen only in a large family, it has and does happen even in only child homes. Unfortunately to those who look down on large families, it is just used as an example as to how you can't care for that many kids. In this case it was two kids needing the parents, and the older kids forgetting to watch the younger ones.Normally they do better than that. I guess you can say that my grandson loves grandma. He was going to my house one way or another. He was even heading the right direction, although I am sure that was just a coincidence. Link to comment
Deb2of9 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 TXQFMomI like what you said about not only sharing your faith but also the why of your faith. I think that is one of the things that gets missed too often. In too many families I think it is this is what we believe, period. Helping the child to see Why it is what you believe, helps to build the faith into them, instead of just as something we do. I believe you will be building a stronger base if you also help them to see why it is true, not just that it is true. I forgot to add a tip, which is a silly one actually. Head Counts. Seriously, taking the time to make sure not only that you have all of the children, but that you also spend some one on one time with each of them even if it is only five minutes. With lots of kids it is too easy for one to get lost in the group. So some one on one time can work wonders, even if it is only a few minutes and other times, just make sure that you have everyone. My daughter even uses the buddy system when they go out some place. Each older kid is the buddy for a younger kid. My daughter told me one day that she had lots of kids which gave me the large family that I always wanted. I just have to share them with her. Link to comment
Stephanie Posted June 20, 2008 Author Share Posted June 20, 2008 The chase would have been on at this house!! I know that must have been scary for everyone included. I'm sorry that your daughter doesn't have a supportive husband, it makes all the difference in the world. I do count heads, often, when we're out in public. We also do the hold hands routine. And we have another "rule". If we're at the store, or at the zoo, or whatever... I say over and over..."Everyone behind Daddy and in front of Mommy" He's the train engine, I'm the caboose! Link to comment
sassenach Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Ok, my original post was really terrible and harsh to read or hear if I actually posted it. I wish those with spouses or adult relatives the ability to calmly get the point across if they have failed momentarily to keep the family flock together, when everyone is busy.... but it was totally wrong how I said it earlier on and I apologize. Anyone who read it must think I am a a real A$$. I know a drill sargeant style lecture may sometimes be useful,but it could really hinder things too if used inappropriately so I apologize. Even though, sometimes you feel like you are at the end of your rope and want to act like the drill sargeant and drill something into someones brain, especially the safety of a young child who is totally dependent on that protection...... so, I am very sorry and I feel really badly about this. I wish you all the best, and I am green with envy about your big families. coping skills and communications are some of the hardest things we do when we run into such challenges and the emotions get in a roil. " arby goes to sit in the corner" Link to comment
MomM Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Thank goodness everyone was fine, but what a nightmare! Luckily we've never had a child get out of the house on us, but we did have Grandma do it once. She had Alzheimer's Disease, and was home with my DH and several of the children. I was doing errands and DH was in the kitchen starting a meal. He saw Grandma walk by going towards her bedroom. Next thing he knew, one of the kids came in and said Grandma was out in the cul-de-sac. Trying to "go home". Took a lot of talking on his part to convince her that we needed her to be with us, and to not go "home". That was the only time we lost her, but I had her wear an ID bracelet, all the time, with our phone number on it - just in case. When we went to Disney World with 4 kids, DH threaded a a toddler strap through his beltloop and attached an end to each of our young sons. This way they could walk independently and still be attached to Dad. I had the oldest two by my side. Link to comment
TXQFMom Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Thankfully my *lost child stories* usually involve them being QUIET somewhere... not really escaping. Once when my 15yos was little I jumped up from my desk and tore through the house looking for him... he was asleep UNDER the chair I jumped up from! I am rabid though about our front door. Though we have 11 acres we are on a hwy. Our 2nd son & his wife were staying with us and were BAD about latching the door... so I finally followed him out one time and gave him a swat on the tush with a wooden spoon! He was 20yo... I told him from now on if he or his wife left it unlatched he was getting a swat since he is her head! {{snort}} He found me amusing but ALWAYS latched the door after that. My dh is fantastic with the dc!! But does not always *watch* littles closely outside so no one under 4 can be out with daddy unless my 18yod, 13yos, or I are out too. Oh another funny... when my 13 & 15yo boys were little I had them at the store and I had a new baby and no big helpers... I needed to look at sewing machines so I told them to *glue your bottoms to the floor* while I looked. When I was done I told them to come along, but forgot to say STAND UP... I looked behind me to see them scooting along behind me on the floor... Sooooo I think teaching obedience is very very important. :lol Link to comment
Stephanie Posted June 21, 2008 Author Share Posted June 21, 2008 Originally Posted By: TXQFMom Oh another funny... when my 13 & 15yo boys were little I had them at the store and I had a new baby and no big helpers... I needed to look at sewing machines so I told them to *glue your bottoms to the floor* while I looked. When I was done I told them to come along, but forgot to say STAND UP... I looked behind me to see them scooting along behind me on the floor... Sooooo I think teaching obedience is very very important. :lol That is so funny!! Link to comment
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