Judy Moist Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 and the news isn't good at all.THe news we received today was in no way expected,and has really devastated me and dh's family, he is in denial, and shock... he has been diagnosed with HIV..(from years of self piercings,and tattooing).. We go Monday for more test to see just how far into the disease he is.. and then figure where to go from here.... I haven't told the kids exactly what is wrong their dad, not yet, but did let them know that he is very sick, and will not get better, and made sure they knew not to use daddy's tooth brush or mess with any razors daddy may have used, and not to be drinking out of the milk carton daddy ddrinks out of.I told dh, he was not to drink out of the carton any more, I bought him his own carton and made sure the kids know not to use it... We have family coming up this week from florida, some to make amends while there is still time, and some to support us my dsis and dsislaw are finding out some options we have on the health care we have a special clinic here for HIV patients that is free. so will check into that, also have to get started on his disability paperwork... also have to find the time to go to the doctor to have me and the kids tested for safety sake... AS of right now, I am doing ok, I took an ativan first thing when we got home, so that it would help me to rest, I have to go into work early in the morning and do need some rest, I didn't sleep much the past couple of days.My sister in law, asked me how was I managing to stay so calm about all this,, I said I am only calm on the outside, on the inside there is a tornado reeking all kinds of damage.. but I have no choice,but to be strong, my kids are relying me....Well that is the update, as bad as it is...Please keep the prayers coming, we really need them right now.... Link to comment
Homesteader Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 What terrible news. I'm sure you are all shocked and numb right now. Just remember that although it is not a curable disease some people live many years with proper meds and some luck. Magic Johnson has had it for ages now and he still is in good shape. It's gonna be a long haul for all of your family and friends. Hang in there! You can do it for the sake of yourself and your kids. Link to comment
gardnmom Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Oh, unike, I am so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family. May our Father be with you. Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 My prayers are with all of you. I am so sorry the news wasn't better. Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 We're here for you, so don't let that *tornado* cause you physical harm. Your kids need you, your husband needs you, your family on both sides need you. Rant and rave here, so you're OK there. (Privately is ALWAYS an option...) Link to comment
ozzzyyy Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 ((((((((Unikemom)))))))) I know firsthand how HIV affects a family. It is not merely a medical condition but adversely affects the patient's mental and emotional well-being as well. Your DH needs much unconditional love right now. And you need someone who can come along side you and take some of this pressure off of you. It's okay to take time for yourself, run away for an hour or so...you need to process this diagnosis and gain strength and wisdom to what *you* need to do for the betterment of all involved. Please know that my prayers are with you!! It does help tremendously to know what you are battling and then come up with a treatment plan. We are here for you with much love and support!! Link to comment
jillg Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Here's some more to you.((((((Unikemom))))) I bet you need all you can get right now. Link to comment
Bamboo Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Unike... my heart goes out to you. I have sent you a PM. Link to comment
redhenfarm Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 ((((Unikemom)))) I'm so sorry DH had that diagnosis. It's good to hear your families are coming to support you and you always have this bb. Link to comment
Judy Moist Posted July 31, 2005 Author Share Posted July 31, 2005 I am doing alright, right now, trying to calm his sister and his aunt down, they are so upset, they are to the point of a breakdown. So, I asked them to please calm down and pull themselves together, that their kids needed them and don't need them to get their selves down sick with worry, and said that dh and I would really be needing them, later on, and also told them that I didn't want them to worry or scare my kids or DSIL kids either. Dh's aunt came over this afternoon while I was at work and cleaned my whole house....dh said he wanted everyone to give him some time alone, so that he could rest and try to comprehend all this... so I asked them to all please just give us a couple of days,and we would let them all know Monday what the doctor says....I am hanging on, have too for the kids sake, but do appreciate all the prayers and support.Thank your for the pm's.. It really is a comfort to have such wonderful people to support you in a time like this... I had a friend ask me today, if I was going to stay with him,, I just asked, would you leave your husband if he was diagnosed with cancer... No you would'nt, you would stay and see him through it, and that is exactly what I inted to do here,, I love my husband, and I would never let him sit and die alone.....I am in it for the long haul....I will keep everyone updated as I find out information, thanks for the kind words and the support they mean so much too me,,, Link to comment
motherearth Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 My prayers and thoughts are with you as you go through this trying time. Please, please remember to take time for yourself. You can only take care of others if you take care of you. You also will need time to absorb all that is going on in your life. Take Care.... CeeGee Link to comment
Linda Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 lots of to you and like it was said you can come here and rant when you feel a need. Link to comment
Mare Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 {{{Unike}}} I'm so sorry, so sad for you and your husband and family. Praying for you and yours. Link to comment
Judy Moist Posted August 1, 2005 Author Share Posted August 1, 2005 I want to thank everyone for their prayers,please keep them coming. Dh seemed to feel some better yesterday, they put him on Nystatin swish and swallow, to help clear up the candidias of the esophagus, and his is following the instructions on the medication to the T, normally he doesn't. He has promised to stop drinking, he knows that if he wants to prolong what is left of his life,that HE HAS TOO stop. He ate better yesterday than he has been,and he was actually able to get up and do about 3 loads of laundry for me while I was at work, and took the trash up to the dumpster..that is the most he has done in weeks. We are getting ready to go to the doctor this morning, will do a follow up, and am requesting another blood test, then if it is positive, he will be tested to see how far advanced he is.. Once you start having the candidias infections it usually means that you are already unable to fight off opportunistic infection,because your immune system has already suffered quite abit of damage, and could also mean he may already have full blown aids.... Evreyone keeps asking if the kids and I are being tested, YES, I am scheduling an appointment this week for all of us. I am usually every 2 years,when I go for my checkups. And also another question I am being asked is about our sexual intimacies (to put it nicely),, we haven't in over a year, he hasn't been able too. But will be tested this week. I will update everyone later this evening when I find out what the doctor says... Thanks again for all the prayers, it helps too know I have support from great people... Link to comment
Judy Moist Posted August 1, 2005 Author Share Posted August 1, 2005 Just got back from the doctor, he is setting us up an appointment at the local health department for the whole family to be hiv tested, and also setting up an appointment in Chattanooga for infectious disease control. The doctor gave me lots of information on how to get help, with this all that we are going to need, he said the medication alone runs about $20,000 a month for this disease... but they have programs available for these patients and it is all free, and he will be able to get on medicaid and draw disability.... so just getting all this started is the hard part, but we are on our way with it....didn't do any testing today, just talked with us and gave us the information we would be needing.....will keep you up on any further updates... thanks everyone.. Link to comment
ozzzyyy Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 What a praise to have this medication provided! Thank you, unikemom, for sharing your heart with us. You and yours are certainly in my thoughts and prayers. The educational aspects of hiv/aids medical care has advanced with dignity for all involved. It sounds like you are getting wonderful support. I lost my father, a decorated Viet Nam veteran to HIV 15 years ago. Back then no one wanted to talk much about it. Certainly, we did not get much support from the VA hospital; my father received the most terrible care you can possibly imagine! Ignorance and fear of the unknown was worse than the actual disease itself. We have come a long way since then and with awareness and sound medical technology, we now have hope! Blessings and hugs to you!! Link to comment
sprotrak Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 I just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I admire you for standing by your husband and looking at it the way you do. What a strong wondeful woman you are! God will bless you for that. Link to comment
Judy Moist Posted August 3, 2005 Author Share Posted August 3, 2005 As you all know, when dh started getting so ill, I took him to the gastroenterologist and the diagnosed him as having esophageal candida, I am going to post what I just found doing research on the HIV disease, concerning EC... "Esophageal candida, is often the first illness and sign that HIV is progressing to a more severe stage. Candida outbreaks occur when the CD4+ cell counts are very low (below 100). People with weakened systems candida can recur and be more difficult to treat. Infection of the throat called esophageal candida is serious. It is on the list of AIDS defining illnesses, affecting up to 1 in 5 people. It often occurs together with thrush. Systemic Candida spreads throughout the body and can be life threatening infection, which can include brain, heart, kidneys, eyes, liver, genital tract and joints.. Even though his HIV diagnosis has not been confirmed, (we are still waiting on the doctors office to call with the appointment), it is not looking at all promising.. I am getting more and more scared that he may have full blown aids....actually terrified isn't the word for it... Link to comment
redhenfarm Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 (((Unike))) Amen to what Ginger said. I'm sure you've wondered, as I did, why the gastro doctor didn't refer or do further tests for this. Link to comment
Freetobeme Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 I hope all is well when you and the children are tested. You are a brave lady. Link to comment
PlanoPa Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 for you and yours unike....I can honestly say you are a great woman for standing by your man in time of need instead of running the other way like so many do these days...if you need anything at all give a shout......Q Link to comment
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