Screaming Eagle Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?" Here is a little test that will help you decide. "Scenario"............ You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? __________________________________________________ ________ "Democrat's Answer"........... Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1 ? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus. __________________________________________________ _____ "Republican's Answer"............... BANG! __________________________________________________ _____ "Redneck's Answer"............ BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.... (sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Speer Gold Dots?" Son: "You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?" Wife: "You are NOT taking that to the taxidermist!" __________________ Link to comment
TeamBettendorf Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 HA!!! We resemble that remark! Link to comment
mommato3boys Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 Originally Posted By: TeamBettendorf HA!!! We resemble that remark! I am the wife in that...that is for sure Link to comment
sassenach Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Proud to be a redneck! Link to comment
Aint2nuts Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 OH NOES!!! MY SON IS A DEMOCRAT!!! He asked "Why was he carrying a gun in an alley?" Hiding my head in SHAME and EMBARASSMENT. I raised a Democrat!!! Link to comment
Louis1 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 I think we should form a focus group to discuss our options here...... Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang! Link to comment
mommato3boys Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Originally Posted By: Louis1 I think we should form a focus group to discuss our options here...... Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang! Louis you still can not take that to the taxidermist, we do not need that hanging on a wall in the cave. Link to comment
Aint2nuts Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Originally Posted By: mommato3boys Originally Posted By: Louis1 I think we should form a focus group to discuss our options here...... Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang! Louis you still can not take that to the taxidermist, we do not need that hanging on a wall in the cave. Oh I don't know, it might add a little...something... and keep some people in line, not to mention any names...trip....ooops getting up... I mean, really examples are a good way for people to LEARN. LOL! Link to comment
mommato3boys Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Originally Posted By: Aint2nuts Originally Posted By: mommato3boys Originally Posted By: Louis1 I think we should form a focus group to discuss our options here...... Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang! Louis you still can not take that to the taxidermist, we do not need that hanging on a wall in the cave. Oh I don't know, it might add a little...something... and keep some people in line, not to mention any names...trip....ooops getting up... I mean, really examples are a good way for people to LEARN. LOL! Bwwwhhhhaaaaa Wait I mean Bad Angela Baaaaddddhhhaaaa Link to comment
michelle Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Oh man does that mean I have to admit I'm a redneck now? Okay that definitely would not have been taken to the taxidermist though! Link to comment
Sits with two crows Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 What does it mean when you pull out your knife and scream "Where is your Allah now" as repeatedly thrust your knife in and out of his cold dead..... Whoa guess I just lost it I mean Bang, bang, bang like everybody else.....Yeah thats right just like everyone else... I mean....yeah...wow...that would be nuts, right? Link to comment
Aint2nuts Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 LOL....nope, no nuts around here. Link to comment
Cricket Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Originally Posted By: Aint2nuts OH NOES!!! MY SON IS A DEMOCRAT!!! He asked "Why was he carrying a gun in an alley?" Hiding my head in SHAME and EMBARASSMENT. I raised a Democrat!!! Sigh. My name is Cricket, and I also raised a Democrat. He lives in San Francisco, no less. (I always feel compelled to add...but he's not gay!) He is here for the week over Thanksgiving. I told him we were planning an intervention! LOL Link to comment
Aint2nuts Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Originally Posted By: Cricket Originally Posted By: Aint2nuts OH NOES!!! MY SON IS A DEMOCRAT!!! He asked "Why was he carrying a gun in an alley?" Hiding my head in SHAME and EMBARASSMENT. I raised a Democrat!!! Sigh. My name is Cricket, and I also raised a Democrat. He lives in San Francisco, no less. (I always feel compelled to add...but he's not gay!) He is here for the week over Thanksgiving. I told him we were planning an intervention! LOL ROFLOLOIMP!!! So, do you think we can make this a dual intervention? My son and yours? Mine is just 12...there is SOME hope for him yet. Link to comment
susie Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 ...and a small child shall lead them... Link to comment
Aint2nuts Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Originally Posted By: susie ...and a small child shall lead them... Right into burned countertops, fire extinguishers set off in garages, small fires started in the bedroom, puppies 'following' him home every other week (or kittens he is an equal opprotunity leader), broken camcorder, broken top of the car, broekn camera, broken bike parts all over the house, yard and garage from him "FIXING" them, broken beds, constantly rearranged room, putting scratches deep into the floor, dropped dishes and THROWN AWAY MOST OF THE DISHES TWICE....instead of washing them. Destroyed the couch, and left stains in the car, made major messes in the garage WEEKLY, and left the freezer open, so it died and stank up the garage, almost killing us all...(there is more but my fingers and brain are getting tired and I don't have all day to type [my son said to add that in]) Yeah... he will lead me right to my death. Link to comment
babysteps Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 *sigh* My family are so far beyond rednecks... My hubby AND my son both wanted to know why the dad was the only one armed... Link to comment
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