In-Laws in the Kitchen

[ol'momma]

I need ideas!

This year we are being blessed with the whole family here for Chirstmas!!

It's not un-common for my Mother in Law to drive up for the day, and hardly unusual for my Brother and his wife to spend a few days with us, but it's a rare thing to have them all here, for multiple days, all at once. There's no love lost between my hubby's Mommy and my Brother's bride , so they usually manage to avoid situations like that....until this year. Now Mom has decided that she's not going to let 'that girl' interfer with her holiday with her grandchildren and she's announced that she'll be here early on Christmas eve and stay through until the morning of the 26th.

And my siblings have missed Christmas at home for the past several years. This year they will be here, come heck or high water. Their schedule is nearly identical to MiL's...

 

So, aside from the juggling match I'll have with keeping the sparing from starting amoungst to many in-laws packed into my little house, here's the problem (and why this is being brought up in the kitchen):

 

MiL is Catholic. She will NOT eat meat on Christmas eve. Traditionaly we have fish--usually sea food chowder.

SiL does NOT eat sea food. Period. She hates the stuff.

Hubby insists on some form of meat or fish with his meal, of he doesn't feel full, so a strictly vegitarian menu is out...

 

What am I gonna feed these people on the 24th!!????

 

 

 

[WormGuy]

Tofu?

 

 

Why not fix fish and a meat, let them pick what they want to eat.

 

 

 

John

[nmchick]

Fried rice? (Chicken fried rice and shrimp fried rice.)

 

 

[GirlNextDoor]

How about you remind these people this is YOUR house and YOUR family and they need to grow up so as not to ruin the FAMILY holiday? Tell MIL she is the matron and needs to set an example of graciousness and Christian attitude. Tell SIL she needs to respect the fact she is going to be in YOUR home (where she is welcome as a FAMILY member, mother of your nieces and nephews and additional sister) and her ego is not the most important thing on everyone else's agenda this HOLIDAY season. Tell the two LADIES they are not only Christian LADIES, they are MOTHERS and need to get over their jealousy of one another and act like it, IOW, SUCK IT UP, GROW UP and become the women their children will rise up and call "Blessed".

 

OK, that is just my opinion and worth what you paid for it. I'm sure somebody else has a more gentle answer. As a 'daughter' and 'sister' to these two ladies it WOULD be a great gesture from you if you cook BOTH meat and fish. Be thinking of easy recipes for each. Think "crock pot".

[Amishway Homesteaders]

buffet table and let them pick! a little bit of this and a little bit of that...........

 

And by the way been there - done that.

 

Just keep telling yourself that you know this will happen, you know it will be over soon and Christmas only comes once a year.

[Cat]

I agree... buffet style with meat and fish. Make it easy... make the soup if you like, and crock-pot it. Choose a simple sliced ham and keep it hot (crock pot if you ave another). Mashed potatoes can be done ahead and kept in a crock pot, as well as all kinds of veggies... even warm desserts!

 

Ask them to bring their own crock pots if you're going to need them. It's the *least* they can do!!

 

And the kids will LOVE being able to choose what they want!

[Leah]

Buffet is what we do, as well.

A hot soup, deli meat, cheese, fruit, crudites, 'breadstuff', and petit fours, cookies, etc.

Folks mostly just nibble from the 24th through the 26th.

[zophiel]

Okay, honestly, I'm stuck at the "not eating meat on Christmas Eve". I'm Catholic myself, pretty devout and traditional for the most part, and I have no idea what that's about. (I mean, Fridays in Lent, yeah, Fridays in general, meh, for some still, but Thursdays? Or Christmas Eve in particular? ) My family's Catholic for generations past and our traditional Christmas Eve meal is usually something hearty and nutrient packed, since we'll be up singing in the choir for Midnight Mass, so we've got to eat something that will stay with us. This means fish is too light most of the time. I don't know why any Catholic would abstain from meat on Christmas Eve, unless it was a personal choice/ devotion-thing (in which case, part of the sacrifice would be attending a meal in which it was served and not partaking. And doing so with a smile!)

 

That said, I agree with the others. This is your house-- they are guests. If you decide to pull a Mardi Gras dinner and serve pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon, they can either eat, or go to the local McDonalds for something more to their tastes. I know you want people to be happy-- as someone who know doubt loves your family, their happiness is important to you. But that level of satisfaction may not be possible, and as guests, they have an obligation to be a little gracious.

 

Maybe this is a remnant from my college days, but as a guest, I always figure "Beggars can't be choosers." If I come to your house to eat your food, I'll either be happy with what I get, or will pretend I am-- simply because you are the one feeding me. You're the one paying for the ingredients, spending the time and sweat to cook them . . . Heck, the fact that you even allowed me under your roof on a cold night is enough for me to keep any possible complaints suppressed. If you served me fish and I hated seafood, I'd focus on the salad and consider how blessed I am to have someplace to go. Likewise if you served me meat.

 

[Honestly, if they really got tetchy and demandy about it, I'd give them bread and water until they got their heads on straight. And I'd tell them to be thankful they came to a house with clean water and weevil-free bread, which is better than a lot of the world.]

 

and yeah, I'm still confused about the not eating meat thing . . . so confused. . .

[ol'momma]

Zophiel, I've been confused about it for years. MiL doesn't observe meatless Fridays, so maybe this is her way of making up for it. Who am I to judge. I just accept it.

Sending 'em off to McGuttbusters isn't an option. The nearest one is 60 miles away (Then again... ).

Our local greasy spoon is closed next week while the owner travels out of state to see her babies and grands, so I can't even insist that we all let her to the cooking to suit everyone. LOL

 

I was sorta hoping to get out of doing the buffet thing, in favor of a traditional, sit down and pass the dish style family meal, but alas... I fear you all a right . That's the only solution I could think of too.

 

 

[Crazy4Canning]

Well, I have a different perspective here.

 

I don't eat pork (allergies AND I eat kosher) and my MIL knows this (and btw, is a terrible cook). The first few holidays I brought things for everyone, all stuff I could eat. Rather than being grateful I was helping out, she was offended that I wouldn't eat her pork (which, btw wasn't cooked correctly and made my husband sick!)

 

So, I've just always brought something to eat with me. Sometimes it's a salad, sometimes it's veggies or a sandwich. I do this EVERYWHERE I go - classes, work potlucks, etc. If people are offended, they quickly get over it.

 

Personally, I would plan the menu for the majority and let her know that if she wants something special, she can have the kitchen for an hour to cook and share her special dish with others.

 

This attitude of "I'm not eating this or that" when she doesn't have allergies or a solid spiritual discipline is really juvenille.

 

I'm sure your family gathering will be lovely and you will enjoy getting together MORE than the petty disagreements.

 

Have a wonderful holiday!

[Cat]

Sounds like MIL is stuck in some old tradition she grew up with. I've never heard of it, but then I'm not Catholic.

 

Maybe you can once-and-for-all get her to tell you about it, by asking about the ways they celebrated Christmas when she was a child? (Would that work as a good conversation-starter at the table, asking everyone older to talk about it?)

 

 

My Dad used to always celebrate the Amish "Old Christmas" by having an oyster stew supper. The reason they did it was because, as children, every year an uncle would buy fresh oysters at his home near the east coast, and take the train all the way to Indiana to visit the relatives. So everyone came to visit, had oyster stew, and the stew is now a family tradition for most of the Amish aunts and uncles.

 

 

Do as much prep ahead of time as you can, so you can enjoy the family time. And bless you for doing it!

 

 

 

 

[ol'momma]

My brother and I were raised on Lutefisk and Lefse at Grandma's house for Christmas Eve dinner....

 

*ol'momma lets loose an evil laugh* I could serve that and send EVERYONE running home early.

 

(Not so much the Lefse, but the fish)

[Leah]

You can all still sit around the seasonally decorated table. There are dishes you can have on the table, so you can pass them, too.

 

Just put your optional items and maybe the sauce for it, etc on a sideboard. I can see the soup tureen and bowls on one end, a punch bowl and cups on the other, the meat in the middle; that sort of thing.

[mommato3boys]

Ok so you want the sit down dinner with meat, preferably seafood for your family, and a veggie dish for MIL and no seafood for SIL...No problem (sounds like my extended family and yes with this menu everyone will have something) Several years ago I ran into the same problem so I went away from the traditional American menu and went with an international menu. I have since found a lovely international flavor menu on line and have it book marked. I did add two of my own recipes to it so that I could make the vegetarian of the family happy.

 

I have served these dishes to my picky family well they ate with no complaints. I have added some of them to our regular menu. The Cabbage Salad and Stuffed Shells are not part of the original menu those are the ones I added. The link to the menu is at the bottom of the page if you follow the link and click on each item it will give you the menu.

 

Oh I almost forget the other change I made was the cake. I picked the dessert to make me happy so I served Red Velvet Cake

 

Creamy Seafood Chowder -

 

Rolled Flounder Fillets with Crabmeat Stuffing

 

Shrimp Marinara

Stuff Shells (Vegetarin for MIL and SIL)

I don't have this recipe at work like the others so I am doing this from memory...

1 box of large shell macaroni cooked as directed drained and cooled

3 cloves of garlic minced

2 tablespoons of Italian seasoning

1 16 oz container of Riccoti cheese

1 16 oz container of small curd cottage cheese

1 small onion minced

2 cups of Italian cheese (1 cup to mix in with Riccoti cheese and cottage cheese then 1 to put on top)

4 cups of Marinara Sauce

9x13 Baking pan

 

Spread 1 cup of Marinara Sauce in bottom of baking pan. Mix all other ingredients except and 1 cup of Italian cheese and remaining Marinara sauce. Stuff each shell with cheese mixture. Place in baking dish in rows top with remaining Marinara sauce and 1 cup of Italian cheese. Bake at 350* for 15-25 mins or until cheese is melted and sauce is bubbly.

 

Herbed Couscous

 

Roasted Butternut Squash

 

CABBAGE - RAMEN NOODLE SALAD

 

1 med. head cabbage (I use 1/2 red cabbage and 1/2 green cabbage for color effect)

2 pkgs. chicken Ramen noodles

1/2 c. slivered almonds

1/4 c. sunflower seeds

Dressing

1/2 c. olive oil

1 tbsp. sugar

1 tsp. seasoning salt

3 tbsp. Balsamic vinegar

Salt & pepper to taste

 

Shred cabbage. Break up Ramen noodles into the shredded cabbage. Toast almonds and sunflower seeds in oven until lightly browned. (I have used pine nuts also because I didn't have any almonds on hand) Add to cabbage mixture. Combine oil, sugar, seasoning salt, vinegar, salt and pepper with seasoning packets from Ramen noodles. Mix with cabbage mixture and refrigerate.

 

 

Now the trick is to make as much ahead of time as possible. The stuff shells freeze really well...I promise if there were time I would ship you what is in my freezer. The fish can be stuffed teh night before. The chowder can actually be made the day before and reheated The butternut squash and be assembled the night before and of course the cake can be made ahead of time. However I would not cook the couscous early. You can prep it the night before but my family does not like it reheated. If you need a bread to make the men happy serve garlic bread.

 

Here is the link to the menu online http://teriskitchen.com/christmas.html#eveII

[Grace&Violets]

Sounds like MIL is stuck in some old tradition she grew up with. I've never heard of it, but then I'm not Catholic.

 

Maybe you can once-and-for-all get her to tell you about it, by asking about the ways they celebrated Christmas when she was a child? (Would that work as a good conversation-starter at the table, asking everyone older to talk about it?)

 

 

My Dad used to always celebrate the Amish "Old Christmas" by having an oyster stew supper. The reason they did it was because, as children, every year an uncle would buy fresh oysters at his home near the east coast, and take the train all the way to Indiana to visit the relatives. So everyone came to visit, had oyster stew, and the stew is now a family tradition for most of the Amish aunts and uncles.

 

 

Do as much prep ahead of time as you can, so you can enjoy the family time. And bless you for doing it!

 

 

 

 

We had the same oyster soup tradition. My gram was German and said that it had been her families tradition, so we had to do it. I hated oyster soup back then and haven't really had any since. Since Gram passed away, I haven't made it...maybe I should.

[GirlNextDoor]

Zopheil, I am not Catholic, but, one of my best friends is. Her parents continue a traditional seafood feast (8-12 entree's, numerous side dishes) on Christmas eve they both learned from THEIR parents. They are all Italian (her parents are first generation) so, maybe that colors their decision? IDK.

[ol'momma]

MiL is Irish Catholic. I wonder if that has anything to do with it? Could her desire for Crab cakes and pickled shrimp be based more on her heritage?

I know that many Scandinavians fallow the same Fish on Christmas Eve tradition. 'Truth is - I have no idea whether the Lutefisk is a regional or religious tradition...? I suspect it has more to do with the locale, but I've never really given it any thought before. HMmmm.....????

 

No matter....

 

I appreciate the recipes Mto3. Thank You!