cookiejar Posted October 15, 2007 Share Posted October 15, 2007 The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials... 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh. Link to comment
mommato3boys Posted October 15, 2007 Share Posted October 15, 2007 Hubby said he was ready to camp... He said he agrees with these... bad boy bad...guess where he sleeps tonight Link to comment
WormGuy Posted October 15, 2007 Share Posted October 15, 2007 I agree with number one... John Link to comment
cookiejar Posted October 15, 2007 Author Share Posted October 15, 2007 Originally Posted By: WormGuy I agree with number one... John Link to comment
PoGo Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Originally Posted By: WormGuy I agree with number one... John Link to comment
Marine Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Originally Posted By: WormGuy I agree with number one... John Amen! Link to comment
Ogre Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 Ok, now the ladies in the house are wondering what I'm belly laughing at THIS time. Ogre Link to comment
ArmyOfFive4God Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Originally Posted By: WormGuy I agree with number one... John Link to comment
cookiejar Posted October 23, 2007 Author Share Posted October 23, 2007 Originally Posted By: Leah Link to comment
WormGuy Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Originally Posted By: Leah Uh oh, now where I going to hide? John Link to comment
Cat Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Here... hide behind Darlene... She'll never even notice!! Link to comment
Necie Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Originally Posted By: WormGuy I agree with number one... John I had read this right after it was posted and had to scroll up to see what number one was cuz i couldn't remember... Link to comment
WormGuy Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Is that the new VS look she has on? I wonder if she ever drops a piece? John Link to comment
mommato3boys Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Originally Posted By: WormGuy Is that the new VS look she has on? I wonder if she ever drops a piece? John You're joking right? Rules 1&2 in PB #1. You do not chew chocolate you savor it #2 One never drops even a crumb of chocolate Link to comment
rwblue Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I am not sure who the guy was that wrote this, but he missed a rule. 1. I will look at other women. It has nothing to do with how you look. There is no need to ask me about it. Link to comment
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