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HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUNAMOTHER!!!

snapshotmiki

By snapshotmiki
in The Sunporch

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lunamother

lunamother

Posted
Posted

THANK YOU! :)

 

I was seriously surprised at how the big 5-0 hit me- I've never been bothered by age- none of the other ones messed with my head.

 

in retrospect (and thru tears) I saw that at 30 I was living in what I thought was my last home, married 10 years and with 2 darling kids.

at 40 I was living in THIS house, that I thought was my last home, married to Ward and pregnant with Alec.

50 sees me so thankful for Ward, but so exhausted by the battle to keep him well,

thankful to have a home AND land, but so exhausted by trying to juggle both payments and get us moved yonder- what was supposed to be a 6-month distant project has now hit the 3 year mark and no end in sight

thankful that my older kids evaded all the young adult pitfalls but so worried that they are now floundering in their lives- son unemployed drinkin' beer in his dad's basement all day and daughter disenchanted with her lifes' work and growing ulcers- my relationship with them both is tenuous at best right now since they've decided that the way to deal with their pain is to blame it on me and choices I made almost 20 years ago.

 

so ya. kind of a Happy Birthday Think About All the Stuff You Messed Up and Can Never Make Better sort of reflective day.

 

it was great.

 

the boys mostly hid.

 

*~*

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ol'momma

ol'momma

Posted
Posted
THANK YOU! :)

 

I was seriously surprised at how the big 5-0 hit me- I've never been bothered by age- none of the other ones messed with my head.

 

in retrospect (and thru tears) I saw that at 30 I was living in what I thought was my last home, married 10 years and with 2 darling kids.

at 40 I was living in THIS house, that I thought was my last home, married to Ward and pregnant with Alec.

50 sees me so thankful for Ward, but so exhausted by the battle to keep him well,

thankful to have a home AND land, but so exhausted by trying to juggle both payments and get us moved yonder- what was supposed to be a 6-month distant project has now hit the 3 year mark and no end in sight

thankful that my older kids evaded all the young adult pitfalls but so worried that they are now floundering in their lives- son unemployed drinkin' beer in his dad's basement all day and daughter disenchanted with her lifes' work and growing ulcers- my relationship with them both is tenuous at best right now since they've decided that the way to deal with their pain is to blame it on me and choices I made almost 20 years ago.

 

so ya. kind of a Happy Birthday Think About All the Stuff You Messed Up and Can Never Make Better sort of reflective day.

 

it was great.

 

the boys mostly hid.

 

*~*

((((Sheri)))

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