Social Services.....My Story (long)

[Grubby]

If you’ve been wondering why I’ve been so quiet……

 

If you have children or grandchildren this could happen to you.

 

Social Services……This is my story.

 

The day after my hubby’s birthday party was a Friday. For me

Friday is a shopping day and I am not at home in the afternoons.

When we got home we saw a business card that the social services

had left. I tried to call them but it was after business hours and they

were already closed.

 

Saturday we were tearing our carpet from our den and installing

hardwood flooring. Everything that was in the den was either in

the kitchen or in the front room. The front room is where the

front door is and it’s like a living room. The house was a disaster!

 

That evening at 8:30, the police and two women knocked on the

door. I go outside to talk to them and they say they are with social

services and they want to come into the house.

 

Mistake #1

 

I let them all in and she wants to ask a few questions and see the

children. I get everyone in the front room and they want to know

names, ages and where they go to school. I tell her two of them

are homeschooled.

 

She starts asking a lot of questions about testing. I tell her about

Kentucky’s laws and tell her attendance is the only thing I have

to worry about. I did test my daughter to see if she was ready to

go to the next grade but for Kentucky it is not required.

 

Now she wants a tour of the house!

 

Hubby’s asking the police if we can toss her out!

 

I kept telling her she caught us on a really bad day!

 

I was nice. I was cooperating. I did it anyway. I shouldn’t have.

 

I give her the grand tour. Her assistant said “For having four children

your house isn’t that bad.” I didn’t think so either.

 

 

We asked her what the charges were. Here they are…..

 

1. Keeping a messy house.

2. The kids don’t go to school.

3. The kids are secluded and I never let them do things.

 

 

What!!!!

 

1. A messy house! What constitutes a messy house?

2. The kids are homeschooled! It doesn’t take us all day to get our work done.

3. Being secluded isn’t a bad thing. We hardly get sick.

 

 

She, the social worker said that she would come back in a few days to see what kind

of progress we made. Progress? Cleaning the house? I’m slightly confused.

 

After they left my hubby called his mom and I called mine. The next day we started

calling everyone we knew. No one could believe this was happening.

 

For days all I could do was cry. I couldn’t sleep. For days and days I couldn’t sleep.

Then when I could sleep every dream was about social services. It was only a week

ago that I stopped having these dreams.

 

This has plagued my mind day and night. I constantly look over my shoulder while

I’m outside. If I hear the dogs bark I’ll run to the window. I’m always scared.

Who did this to us? Why did they do this to my family? Was it family? Friends?

 

What’s happened since that first visit?

 

The Monday after they came I called the head of social services and

wanted to talk to someone in charge of complaints. I talked to him and

he told me that he would get a copy of the report then call me.

 

He lost my phone number. He called the social worker and she gave him

a different phone number! He mailed me a letter saying that he was trying

to reach me. We talked and he told me the same things that she told me and

now he’s going to send me some paper work to fill out so I can get a copy

of the report.

 

Hubby sent emails to the governor, senators, congressmen. Anyone who

would see this and take notice. I got a few calls and they sent me to the

guy I talked to that was in charge of complaints. Round and round we go!

 

My parents went to visit the social worker that came to our house.

They had some questions. Here are some things that she told them.

 

They will come to your house for any reason.

The caller can be anonymous.

The case has to be closed within 40 some odd days. (I can’t remember the exact amout)

 

The part about any reason really bothered me. These are not real

reasons! My children are not in any danger! Danger is neglect or

abused.

 

Each state is different on how they handle calls. Look into this! I don’t want this

happening to you. Kentucky pretty much states it’ll come for any reason. Know

your states law!

 

The social worker never did come back in a few days like she said

she was. I called her and asked her why. She said she thought I might

need more time. Time for what? A load or two of laundry, mop the

floor, vacuum…….what?

 

I think she got fussed at by this head guy, I don’t know.

 

I get a call……..

 

It's been about 30 some days to the date to close the file. What are the odds of that!

 

I ask her what is going to happen during this meeting. She tells me that she wants to

close the file. Meaning………..

 

She tells me that she will either be alone or she will bring an assistant and that we

will sit down and talk.

 

I ask her if this is the last meeting or if she can come back if she doesn’t like what she

sees or hears. She says she will only come back if someone reports something and has

to come back. My mind can only scream after hearing this.

 

I am writing this before the meeting. The meeting to close the file is tomorrow.

I have invited my parents and my in-laws to this meeting. I don’t want anything

said by her or by us without witness. Can you blame me?

 

The meeting…….

 

She was early and did bring an assistant. I called my parents and they came 10

minutes later. My hubby’s parents called and I told them they were already there

and they got here as they/she was leaving.

 

She asked a lot of medical questions. Took a tour of the house and told us if we

needed any of their services to call them.

 

She did tell us that the call was anonymous.

 

For me this is not over even if the file has been closed. It has forever been burned into my mind, like a scar.

[goatherder]

With all the abused kids out there you would think they would have better things to do than pester you. If you want to know who called think about the last person who gave you a disapproving glare about homeschooling.

[brightblessings5]

Oh Grubby,

I am so sorry to hear this is happening to you. It does leave a terrible scar and you will look over your shoulder for a while yet.

 

I had a neighbor turn me in to social services when I lived in Mass. The complaint - my children weren't in school and I let them outside too early in the morning. The whole thing moved quickly for us thankfully because the school district superintendent went to bat for my family. At this time in Mass. homeschoolers were supposed to meet with the superintendant so he/she could evaluate the homeschool program. We were on friendly terms with the whole school and I am thankful everyday for that.

 

Keep detailed records for your homeschooling - whatever is required there in KY.

 

Again, my heart hurts for you and your family. This is a terrible thing to be put through.

[MommyofSeven]

Oh Grubby I'm so sorry to hear that. We had a problem with them, too, they came, they saw, they closed the file and it's been years and they've never been back. they HAVE to check every report, but most of the time they do'nt do anything. I know this will hurt your heart for awhile.

 

In addition to the school records, if you dont vaccinate or do any type of "home remedies" (midwife), keep detailed "health journals" of each child (or yoruself if you see a midwife). Then if something happens they can see what you did.

 

In the state of colorado they can drug test your child if you birth in a hospital but had a midwife for care-without your consent.

 

When ours happened (in case it happens to everyone else) we went to the school and got detailed records from each child's teacher(s) and then asked the teachers if they'd be willing to either write letters or testify if it came to it. All were willing, most adding that this was the most ridiculous thing they've ever heard of. We got copies of their medical files from when they had been seen. We were prepared to get letters from the Chief of the FD where Larry is a volunteer, as well as from various members of the community, and the school, showing our volunteer work. After meeting with us (and not even seeing the children), she didn't need any of that.

 

They are required to make allowances for certain situations. Ours was when we were sleeping in the cabin, staying with friends, I'm sure most of you remember that. The cabin had no electric, but we were literally 30 steps from the bathroom, running water and electric. We showed them the batter powered lights, the wood stove, etc. They CANNOT take your children simply because you're broke. In fact, that fear keeps many people from applying for needed services. Your replacing the floor shows that you maintain your home. Despite the mess at the time, she could not hold that against you.

 

These people hold a lot of power, and I think that it sometimes goes to their heads. They also see a lot of bad stuff, and I think that may make some of them jaded.

 

I'm thankful that your file was closed, and I will pray for the wounds to your heart.

 

Mo7

[HSmom]

How awful for you!

[Bookworm]

(((Grubby))) I'm sorry you're going through this also! You do not have to let a social worker into your house. It is my understanding they'd need a warrant. Tell the kids to keep their mouths shut.

 

It's probably someone jealous of you who did it; there are some people who have family members do this sort of thing.

 

We'll pray for you and your family.

[Jennysmama]

Grubby, what an awful experience! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this kind of thing. A friend of mine in PA went through this, too. Someone reported them because their daughter "had a lot of problems and went to the doctor a lot and wasn't in school". She's homeschooled, and yes, she has several medical problems which require frequent doctor appointments and medications, but she's actually a very well-cared-for child. On various homeschooling websites you can find a script to follow in the event a social worker comes to your door. I suppose all of us who homeschool should have this on hand.

 

I'm adding your situation to my prayer list and praying that you'll never hear from these people again! (And I'm adding a prayer that the person who filed this anonymous report will be shown the error of his or her ways...honestly, if someone knows you well enough to notice the care your children receive, they should come to you and ask you in person if they truly think there's a problem!! JMHO.)

 

Big hugs, Grubby!

[Grubby]

Thanks everyone.

[Teaberry]

Grubby! I'm really glad you shared because you bring up some important issues.

 

You have every right to refuse admittance into your home in a situation like this. You said you tried to be nice and cooperative and I understand that. But legally you can tell them no.

 

There is an incredible law firm representating homeschool families all over the world - it's called the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA). If you're a member and something like this happens then you tell the social worker at the door that she can wait while you call your lawyer.

 

There have been many cases like yours where mothers have done this and it scares the hades out of the social worker!! Why? Because they know they have no solid ground to stand on if all they're doing is trying to intimidate you in your homeschooling which it appears is the case here.

 

If you call HSLDA and tell them what has happened they'll walk you through this. I'm so sorry it's been such a scary experience, but you've nothing to fear.

 

There are over 2 million homeschool families in America today and HSLDA has gone to bat for many when problems have arisen. The success record is astounding because the law is on your side. You pay a fee once a year for their services and it's worth every penny. They provide incredible services giving peace of mind. If you're a member of a homeschool group it could be you can get a discount.

 

http://www.hslda.org

 

http://www.hslda.org/docs/faqs/default.asp#q202

 

Homeschool families are a growing threat to the National Education Association and other groups making money off public schools. We're also a threat to those wanting to implement certain socialistic agendas. So that is part of why this kind of thing happens on occasion. It is not common, but they hope the word will get out and others will become too frightened to homeschool. They have no real power.

 

This is the kind of thing early pioneers in homeschooling had to face a lot. Stand strong in your convictions. Homeschooling is growing and the more it grows, the stronger America will be. We have the law on our side. You have a lot of support from other homeschoolers and from lawyers protecting your rights.

 

There is in reality great safety in homeschooling. What most people don't realize is that their children are more vulnerable to Social Services "interventions" when they attend public schools. If a child comes to school with any sign of a problem it is reported. In some cases that may be helpful, but you know there are many cases where it is not necessary.

 

As far as children being outside playing or whatever, just think how many public schooled children come home to empty houses every weekday. They are "home alone" for 2-3 hours or more. As a matter of fact I read that many teen pregnancies occur during that time frame when no parent is around.

 

And as far as a home being messy - can anyone here say they've never seen a messy home with public schooled children? Or course not.

 

This is all about intimidation and nothing more.

 

I strongly recommend every homeschool parent on this board join HSLDA for the peace of mind it gives. And stay in prayer that homeschooling remains a freedom we can appreciate for a long time to come. There are forces at work planning to halt it if they can. Vote people! It's important. I won't say more on that. Do your homework.

 

And as far as bad neighbors, everyone has them - even public school families. We can't please everyone, that is for certain. One thing that can possibly help is making Christmas cookies and/or crafts early December and giving them to all the neighbors. Have your children with you when you deliver. If someone did make an anonymous report, they'll feel like a creep under a rock after that.

 

Grubby, you're full of spunk! You go, girl!

[MommyofSeven]

Wow, what incredible information this has brought forth. I appreciate Grubby sharing her story, this can really help someone else!

 

Mo7

[Becca_Anne]

:bighug How awful I hope this is the last time you ever have to deal with them! :bighug

[Mare]

I'm so sorry for what you went through Grubby. Yes, protective services does have a responsibility to act on any report. Otherwise they would be held liable if something did happen to a child. The Social Workers are darned if they do, and darned if they don't. That being said, there are people in the system who love having that power over people. My boss in Alaska was such an evil woman, and was my reason for leaving. She badgered client's who were doing their best to comply, and I was the one who had to carry out her orders.

 

This annonymous reporting has hurt a tremendous number of people though, and I have never heard of the reason being "anything". Here it has to be some kind of neglect or abuse, and a dirty house has to be to the point of neglect. I'm wondering if you can get the name of the person through the Freedom of Information act. It might be worth investigating. Until people who file false reports start getting sued, and held accountable for their actions, people will continue to use the system to exact revenge on innocent people.

 

Teaberry gave you some awesome resources. I wouldn't let this pass. It's jut plain wrong.

[Fatherof4]

I have nothing to say. I just got sick to my stomach...

In cases like these you are guilty until proven innocent.

I am so glad you handled it well...be careful and God Bless.

[Phatkat1956]

There is a lot of good advice here. First off, you don't have to let them in your house without a warrant. A warrant means they have grounds that they have presented to a judge who says that they can come into your house. You have a right to an attourney who can protect the rest of your rights.

 

My son has learned to tell everyone who asks that he goes to the PA Virtual Charter School on the computer and sometimes when it's really nice outside he works early or late so he can play outside during the middle of the day. He can also tell them about his teachers and his studies and loves to talk about what he is studying.

 

I know this may not help, but there are children out there that are locked away in there home with no one to help them, but that noisey neighbor who wanders why they never go to school...or over to a friend's house to play. It is not unusual for it to only be one child out of a family that is mistreated in this manner. This child may also not be clothed or fed properly. I understand that this was not the case in your family, but it is sometimes the case and that is why children's services works this way.

[KimMC]

Oh Grubby I'm so sorry!

[mistylady]

Grubby,

I am so sorry that you went through this. With all the bad things happening in the world why in the world can't they focus on that?

 

Social services is out of control That's probably why they didn't get their tax levy here this November.

[GoatLady]

[rubygirl]

We became foster parents about 6 months ago and we have SW's coming and going from our house..and we homeschool. You can bet your bottom dollar that I joined HSLDA as soon as I found out how often the SW's would be coming into our home. One comes every other week (the kids are thru an agency) and the county worker comes every 60 days. They are not required to tell me WHEN they are coming and because I have foster kids I have to let THOSE TWO in...ONLY those two or another who is part of their case. Any other SW would not be allowed into my home without a warrant. My children are trained to say "We will not talk to you without our lawyer present" period. The SW's who come to our house both are aware of this and think it is prudent of us to be that way. The ones we see are good people (but i don't really trust anyone kwim?) and they are both away of the fact that we joined HSLDA...plus since I have them coming in all the time anyways, it would be hard for anyone to accuse me of "long term" abuse or neglect. It is a scary thing though to have them show up and do that. I can not even imagine. The kids we get are the ones who have been severely abused or neglected (think A Child called It) and I can't even imagine them waisting their time with kids who are really being cared for. That is a sheer waste of time IMO. They need to be focusing on the ones who really need help.

[Honeybee]

Child Protective Services are required by law to check out every complaint, regardless of whether it is anonymous or whether the person who complains gives a name, relationship, address, etc. EVEN if the complaintant is anonymous, they do keep records of where the call came from (caller ID). Each case has a certain number of days before it has to be one of 3 things, closed, adjudicated (meaning court), or further services recommended (such as counseling, home health aide, whatever they feel a family needs). If a case is closed, that means they found no merit in the complaint, and that's it. It only stays on their records for (depending on the state) 3-6 months before it's actually run through a paper shredder & thrown out.

 

We did foster care in 2 different states over 25+ years time, so I got to be real familiar with the child protective services folks, in many different counties. I always made it a point to make friends with the workers, and it was definitely in our best interests to do so.

 

Our oldest Granddaughter was run over by a schoolbus a few years ago, when she was 7. It broke her leg in 2 places, broke several bones in her foot, broke her arm, and she had to have stitches in several places. The busdriver had a cell phone, but would not/did not call an ambulance or even report the accident to the police. She called her supervisor at the bus barn - who advised her to leave the scene of the accident and drop the rest of the kids at home. She didn't get but to the end of the county road before she had to call another bus to come & pick up the rest of the kids and take them home. However, she DID leave the scene of the accident & did not report it. She also failed to get medical attention or call an ambulance for the kid.

 

My husband was coming home from the store and arrived on the scene right after it happened. He took our DD & the granddaughter to the ER in our Blazer. *I* had to call the sheriff's office to report the accident. The assistant superintendant showed up at the ER to talk to our DD. He was very surprised to find the Hiway Patrol there when he arrived.

 

Their insurance co offered our DD a "settlement" for $26K - which was not even enough to cover the hospital and medical bills. She hired an attorney. After she refused the settlement they offered & hired the attorney, she and her kids started being harassed by the school. They called child protective services on her several times. By law, a school can't turn a family in during the summer or while school is not in session (Christmas break, spring break, etc.) They waited until the last day of school, about an hour before school got out for the summer, to turn her in for the last time.

 

The school nurse pulled the girls out of class on more than one occasion. She sent a letter regarding the clothes the girls wore that actually stated that the girls would be better "socialized" if they wore name-brand clothing rather than clothes from Wal-Mart (where their father worked). She made the girls take showers and gave them different clothes to wear because they "smelled of wood smoke". They turned our DD & SIL into CPS for all kinds of stuff including "educational neglect" for the girl who was run over (she was out while in the hospital, with dr appts, the orthopedic surgeon, etc.), because there home was messy when Mom was sick & Dad collapsed at work & was in ICU for 2 days.. It was a mess.

 

Even the CPS finally got the idea that the school was harassing their family due to the legal issues - after so many calls. If you are turned in to hotlines 5 times by the same caller - and all the calls are determined to be "without merit or cause" - it doesn't even have to be turned in to CPS - they constitute that as harassment - and you can get the county attorney to charge them with harassment and take them to court. Hotlines could be other things besides the CPS. It could include the health dept, the sheriff's office, animal control, animal welfare, police dept, etc.

 

I know that several CPS workers have told me that a full one-third to one-half of the calls that come in are nothing more than someone being vindictive or trying to get even with someone else. By law, they HAVE to investigate each & every call. However, their time could be better spent and used to investigate families with children who really are being neglected or abused rather than checking out someone's false complaint.

 

Yet, because some people like to use that system to get even with others, or because they see something they don't have a clue & jump to conclusions (like the neighbor's child has a black eye, they must be beating their kids!) instead of talking to the parents or even just to the kids and ASKING what happened, they pick up the phone because it's easy to do, and it's anonymous. Even SCHOOLS do it.

 

Unless there's been more than one complaint, I don't think they can be legally made to release the name of the person who complained. If the person didn't leave a name, then all they have is the phone number the call came from anyway. But, Hotline harassment is against the law, regardless of who does it.

 

Our DD & her lawyer finally settled out with the school on the bus accident. However, they're still working on settling the harassment suit.

[ArmyOfFive4God]

WOW! Honeybee, that is just ludicrous. Other than that I am speechless.

[anna]

My dh and I refer to Department of Human Services as Department of Inhuman Services. We were foster parents for 15 years mostly long term placements and had a dd in the system due to her alcohol abuse. We had a two really super, go to bat for you type of social workers, several jerks who did their job but not one bit more and one who was a vindictive immature brat who caused untold problems for our dd by refusing to act on my complaints. She had issues with her mother who'd forced her to take the job and would not listen to me because she was mad at her mom...a real nut job. And her supervisor was so "support my workers" that he would not listen to me. I went to another county and talked to head DHS person there who could not understand why nut job was doing what she was and called her supervisor who STILL refused to listen. I finally had to hire an attorney.

 

I know many homeschooling families and families with a large number of children who live in fear of that knock on the door. Some people are really anti homeschool and anti large families. When you have a large family and homeschool you feel like you have a target pinned to your back. All these families belong to the homeschool group mentioned above.

 

A neighbor reported us for abuse of a foster baby. It was unfounded. I let the worker in and she asked about what was reported and I told her I had no idea what she was talking about. She could see for herself that both babies were in perfect condition and in a safe environment. I was really busy and had to keep moving so she had to follow along asking her questions as I dealt with the babies. J had one of the worst messy diapers in history and I had him on the changing table and asked her to watch him while I went for wash cloths...sweet revenge.