Crazy4Canning Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 Thank you for all your kind comments and encouraging replies. The past month has been rough. I did make it through my Dissertation defense in late August. My changes were made and accepted by the university. My student account has been closed and I am now officially "Dr.". To further enforce the point, the diploma came in the mail last week. To tell you the truth, I've been rather out of sorts trying to find a new project. It's been unsettling at best. This has taken literally *years*. I thought I would be able to get back into sub-teaching right away. Well, there were changes made over the last year that I wasn't made aware of. Because of the issues with my folks, I didn't sub the required minimal hours last year because I wasn't aware there were any. Therefore, I didn't get carried over into the new system. They aren't opening up the system until late fall or late spring. So, I was very much in a panic over income. Thankfully, this week, I was able to pick up another private student twice a week. That will be quite helpful. I was really upset when I discovered this, for it hit me like the proverbial rake in the face, for I realized yet again, that in dealing with my parents' drama, my career has taken a rather expensive hit. Yet again, another financial impact because of their issues. About my folks - well, last you heard was the Fruit Basket Upset when the Guardian told them I was leaving and getting a professional replacement. To use the phrase 'acting out' since then is putting things mildly. Near the beginning of last month, I took by their rent check and dropped off some gas cards and grocery cards. I also had some Costco things and items I ordered from online - sanitary supplies and other hygiene things. In a nutshell, they railroaded me for 45 minutes and said they were unhappy with my work, they needed more money, they didn't have health issues, and there was no need for my help. They were put out that I got them what they needed, how dare I do anything beyond it, etc. etc. etc. There was nothing I could say or do, so I said nothing. I stood there and I took it. As I left, my hands were shaking. I got home and I was so angry I was actually yelling- something that is really rare for me. I've had a few email interactions, demanding meds, demanding money, implying that I've been making choices without their input, and Dad has even been harassing the new guardian every other day demanding money telling her that their needs aren't being met. She is definitely going to get more than she bargained for. I will be meeting with the new guardian on Thursday, she is coming over for lunch. I will hand off all paperwork. I will still be dealing with finances in some regard until SS & VA are deposited into her accounts, so the freedom will be gradual. I honestly have to say that I will be so relieved when I will not be involved anymore. I expect to be completely extricated by the end of the year. It will take that long to deal with the change of finances. Right now, I have little hope (almost zero, really), that the relationship is salvageable. My parents view me as someone who has betrayed them, Zero hope and not caring are not characteristic of my usually sunny and optimistic disposition. Friday after court, I came home very sad and burdened. I fully realize that decades of poor decision making have rendered my parents incapable of anything but poor choices. I know I made the right choice on their behalf, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. My husband and I are thinking of taking the holidays at the coast *alone* this year or perhaps in Alaska...or maybe the Bermuda Triangle. Someplace far, far away...and without drama. I think we deserve it. We could leave presents for the nephews around Thanksgiving. Sounds more appealing by the minute. ~ ~ ~ ~ In writing this, I was interrupted a number of times. I just discovered that my dad authorized a new phone line because he was tired of waiting for me to take action. I have no idea who it is with or when, but he informed everyone, including the new guardian of their number but ME. He doesn't understand that he can't make decisions like this anymore. Quote Link to comment
MomM Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 (((((Crazy4Canning))))) Quote Link to comment
themartianchick Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 I am so sorry that you are still going through all of this C4C! It just seems so unfair. I think that the idea of a nice vacation is exactly what you need. Don't knock the Triangle! Bermuda is a gorgeous place to visit and one of my favorite vacation spots on earth! Quiet, quaint and laid back...Exactly what you need right now! Quote Link to comment
Jeepers Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 Aw doc, I had hoped some of their drama had settled down by now. I hope you and hubby can get away for a much needed and deserved vacation. It's been a heck of a year for you. Quote Link to comment
Ambergris Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Hopefully, the guardian is experienced enough to know how to handle them. Quote Link to comment
Darlene Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 It's obvious that it's best that you are not involved anymore in the care taking of your parents but I can't escape the fact that regardless of however compromised they may be, they still have valid feelings too. The break is hard and that's understandable...I'm sure it's heart wrenching on both sides. Quote Link to comment
The WE2's Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Both of my parents are still very functional (mid 80's) but I can just imagine what it would be like to have turn either of their care over to another. Be blessed and be watchful friend. Quote Link to comment
Virginia Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Hopefully, none of the rest of us will ever have to walk a mile in your shoes. And may the road you walk from now on be peaceful. Quote Link to comment
mommato3boys Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Hopefully, none of the rest of us will ever have to walk a mile in your shoes. And may the road you walk from now on be peaceful. I couldn't agree more. Sending you lots of cyber hugs and hope you enjoy your holiday without drama. The end of the year is only 89 days away. Quote Link to comment
Crazy4Canning Posted October 10, 2012 Author Share Posted October 10, 2012 Well. After my meeting with the new guardian last week, I'm still on the hook, in some form, probably through the end of the year. Wanna know why? It's simple really. While the court papers have gone through (standard 10 day or so processing), it's going to take at least that long to get Social Security and VA straightened around. Also, the more key point - she's wanting me to *prove* and her to *prove* via documentation, that my parents need more intervention than they are currently getting. I'm all for it. I assured the guardian that whatever needed to happen, I would help her do. I would not be remiss in anticipating that by the beginning of the year, they may be moved into a new place to assist them with meds and help them with their health. So. Not free yet. Still have tons of paperwork sitting here. Probably will for the next few months. *sigh* Quote Link to comment
Annarchy Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 ((((((C4C))))))) Quote Link to comment
Ambergris Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 And then, next year, Quote Link to comment
Jeepers Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Hopefully, none of the rest of us will ever have to walk a mile in your shoes. And may the road you walk from now on be peaceful. Amen! Anyone with elderly parents or loved ones who do not suffer from any form of dimentia...count your blessings. Quote Link to comment
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