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Leah

You Might Be A Survivalist If...

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You Might Be A Survivalist If...

 

*- You can't put your groceries in the trunk of the car because its already jammed full with emergency kits, first aid supplies, and fully-stocked BOBs.

 

*- You have emergency rations for your pets, and view your pets as potential emergency rations.

 

*- You know the news three days before it hits the mass media.

 

*- You have back-up plans for your back-up plans.

 

*- You're convinced you've been exposed to so many chem-trails, you consider it a form of birth control.

 

*- You've ever repressed the urge to bleat "BAAAAAAAAAA" as your neighbor earnestly asks, "What war? Where?"

 

*- You've ever bought antibiotics for human use through a vet, or grains for human consumption through a feed store.

 

*- You've got more than one grain mill.

 

*- You've ever wondered how you might filter the used water from your washing machine to make it fit for human consumption.

 

*- You have a kerosene lamp in every room.

 

*- Your living room coffee table is actually a board with pretty cloth over it to disguise your food storage underneath.

 

*- Your box springs are Rubber Maid containers filled with rice and beans.

 

*- You save dryer lint to make fire starters.

 

*- Your most commonly-used fuel additive is 'Stabil', instead of 'Gumout'.

 

*- You automatically choose the heavy duty flatbed cart upon entering Sam's or Costco.

 

*- If you know the shelf life of tuna fish, but don't know how long you've had an open jar of mayo in the refrigerator.

 

*- Your basement walls are insulated with crates of toilet paper, from floor to ceiling, all the way around.

 

*- While other people are saving money for new furniture, or vacations, you are desperately saving to get solar panels put on your house.

 

*- You were excited beyond all reason when they came out with cheddar cheese in a can.

 

*- You've ever served MREs at a dinner party.

 

*- You can engage in a spirited debate on chemical vs. sawdust toilets for hours on end.

 

*- You've ever considered digging an escape tunnel from your basement to the nearest stand of trees.

 

*- You know how to use a vacuum cleaner in reverse to filter air in your designated bio-chem attack safe room.

 

*- You've ever considered buying an above-ground pool for water storage purposes.

 

*- You know what things like 'TSHTF', 'BOB' and 'TEOTWAWKI' mean.

 

*- You have different grades of BOB's.

 

*- You know the names, family histories, locations, and degree of readiness of over a thousand fellow doomers on the net... but you've never met your neighbors.

 

*- The best radio in the house is a wind-up.

 

*- You have better items in storage than you use every day.

 

*- When the SHTF, you would eat better than you eat now.

 

*- Your significant other gave you a sleeping bag rated at -15 degrees for Christmas... and you were moved beyond words.

 

*- You've sewn secret mini-BOBs into the bottom of your children's school backpacks.

 

*- Local food pantries have come to depend on donations from your larder when you rotate stock in the spring and fall.

 

*- You're still using up your Y2K supplies.

 

*- You have enough army surplus equipment to open a store.

 

*- The local army surplus store owner knows you by your first name.

 

*- You fill up when your gas tank is 3/4 full.

 

*- You call Rubber Maid for wholesale prices.

 

*- You have several cases of baby wipes, and your kids are all grown.

 

*- Bert from 'Tremors' is your favorite movie character.

 

*- You carry a pocket survival kit, a sturdy folding knife, a SureFire flashlight, and a small concealed handgun on you to church every Sunday.

 

*- You start panicking when you are down to 50 rolls of toilet paper.

 

*- You keep a small notebook to write down any edible plants you happen to see along the road.

 

*- You shop yard sales, store sales, and markdown racks for barter goods for ATSHTF.

 

*- You own a hand-operated clothes washer and a non-electric carpet sweeper.

 

*- You have at least two of every size of Dutch oven, and 20 bags of charcoal, although you have a gas grill.

 

*- You have rain barrels at each corner of your house, although you have a city water hookup, and a Big Berkey to purify the water.

 

*- You have sapphire lights, survival whistle, and a Swiss Army knife on every family member's keychain.

 

*- The people in line at Costco's ask you if you run a store or restaraunt.

 

*- You require a shovel to rotate all your preps properly.

 

*- You no longer go the the doctor's because you can either fix it yourself, make it at home, or know and understand the Physicians Desk Reference better than he does, and can get the goods at the vet's or pet store for MUCH less moolah anyway.

 

*- You know that a 'GPS' has nothing to do with the economy.

 

*- You track your preps on a computer spreadsheet for easy reordering, but have hardcopies in a 3-ring binder 'just in case'.

 

*- You've thought about where the hordes can be stopped before entering town.

 

*- You start evaluating people according to 'skill sets'.

 

*- You view the nearest conservation area as a potential grocery store if TSHTF.

 

*- You know all the ways out the building where you work.

 

*- You have enough pasta stockpiled in your basement to carbo-load all the runners in the New York City Marathon.

 

*- You know that you have 36 gallons of extra drinking water in the hot water tank and your 2 toilet tanks.

 

*- You know which bugs are edible.

 

*- You have a handpump on your well.

 

*- You have #10 cans of 'stuff' that the labels fell off of, but you won't throw it out or open it because it 'may be needed later', even though you haven't a clue as to the contents.

 

*- You know where the best defensive positions and lines of fire are on your property.

 

*- You've made a range card for your neighborhood.

 

*- Your toenail clipper is a K-BAR.

 

*- The Ranger Handbook is your favorite 'self help' book.

 

*- You've numbered the deer romping in the yard by their order of consumption.

 

*- You must move 50 cases of food for the plumber to get to that leaky pipe, but you have your own hand truck in the basement to do it.

 

*- You own more pairs of hiking boots than casual and dress shoes combined.

 

*- You have more 55gal blue water drums than family members.

 

*- Your UPS system has more than 6 Deep cycle batteries.

 

*- You have a backup generator for your backup generator, which is a backup for your solar system.

 

*- You go to McDonalds and ask for one order of fries with 25 packs of ketchup and mustard.

 

*- You have ever given SPAM as a serious gift.

 

*- You've had your eye out for a good deal for a stainless steel handgun to conceal in the bottom of the magazine rack next to the toliet.

 

*- You are single male over 40, but you still have an emergency childbirth kit, just in case you have to deal with that possibility.

 

*- You have two water heaters installed in your basement, but one is a dummy that's been converted to hideaway safe.

 

*- You've made bugout cargo packs for your dogs.

 

*- You have a walking stick with all sorts of gadgets hidden inside.

 

*- Your koi pond is stocked with catfish.

 

*- As a stand-in scoutmaster, you taught your son's troop to set mantraps and punji pits, and haven't been asked to stand in since.

 

*- You're on your fifth vaccum sealer, but you keep at least one of the worn out ones because you can still seal up plastic bags with it.

 

*- You haven't bought dried fruit in years, but you buy fresh bananas, apples, peaches and pears by the case and have three dehydrators.

 

*- Your UPS man hates you because of all the cases of ammo he's had to lug from his truck to your front door.

 

*- You have duplicates of all your electronics gear, solar panels and generator parts in your EMP-shielded fallout shelter.

 

*- You have set aside space for your live chickens in the fallout shelter.

 

*- When the power goes out in your neighborhood, all the neighbor's kids come over to your place to watch TV on generator power.

 

*- You must open the door to your pantry very carefully for fear of a canned goods avalanche.

 

*- You have a 'Volcano', you know you can cook anything, and you cast evil glances at your neighbor's annoying, yappy poodle, muttering "your day will come, hotdog" under your breath.

 

*- You've learned to knap flint, make twine from plant fibers for snares, and use an atl-atl, because you fear that all of your preps and hard work will be confiscated by FEMA troops or destroyed by earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear blasts, ravening hordes of feral sheeple, or reptiloids from 'Planet X' ATSHTF.

 

 

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Hilarious and sadly true...

 

Mine was when I got a reinforced metal shelf unit for Easter and I was moved beyond words. Really, I did and was.

 

What does it say when I identify this much? :24:

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What's scary is how much of it IS true about DH & me...! :shakinghead:

 

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Originally Posted By: Leah

 

*- You have a 'Volcano', you know you can cook anything, and you cast evil glances at your neighbor's annoying, yappy poodle, muttering "your day will come, hotdog" under your breath.

 

Hey, does anyone have one of these? I've been wondering if these are worth the money.

Stacy

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I know this is supposed to be humor, but some of these are really good ideas (and new to me):

- You've sewn a secret mini-BOBs into the bottom of your children's school backpacks.

- You have two water heaters installed in your basement, but one is a dummy that's been converted to hideaway safe.

 

And this one:

*- You fill up when your gas tank is 3/4 full.

 

I've been filling up a 1/2 tank for a couple of years now, but yesterday, I felt edgy cuz my guage was at 5/8. :24:

 

What is a "Volcano" ?

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Volcanos are a portable propane stove that can be used three ways. See the link: Click on the tiny picture in the corner to get a large view of the stove.

 

http://www.aaoobfoods.com/volcanostoves.htm

 

Several of the people on my dutchovencooking group at yahoo have them and bring them to the cook gatherings and really like them.

 

I will have to wait on getting one of these, and have only just started to get my emergency camping stuff together.

 

My car backpack is in the hall, waiting for more stuff to be put in....a lot of good that will do me if anything happens in the meantime.

 

1.gif

 

Uh Oh.... :smiley_shitfan: ...

 

 

 

P.S. I had to laugh at the food saver thing, but I'm only up to three and still have the original long one for sealing bags, LOL. Yes, most any bag in the kitchen can be sealed with a heat seal machine.

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Hey that mini BOB kit in the kids back packs would be an excellent idea..... if my children werent homeschooled.

 

 

Its kinda sad as when you are reading this you can either say "done it" or "hey thats a good idea"

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Originally Posted By: jewlzm

Hey that mini BOB kit in the kids back packs would be an excellent idea..... if my children werent homeschooled.

 

Its kinda sad as when you are reading this you can either say "done it" or "hey thats a good idea"

 

:busted:

 

I had to fwd this on to a couple folks, one being the hubby. He's going to be saying "yup that's her" LOL

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If you've done or thought of 23 or more of these...your a nut job like us! :24::welcome:

 

If you can ADD to the list...your my hero/heroine!

 

If someone yells "GET BOB!" and you ignore people to run out to your car... you might be one of us. :happy0203:

 

 

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27 and 4 more that are only 1/2! I'm worse than I realized! (but I still need to do more!) :huh:

 

 

 

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We-e-e-ll..

I must say I was surprised when I realized I do 63 out of 90.

 

Doesn't everyone?

 

 

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I'm going to go hide my face now...

 

You know I really would like to cook the neighbor's weiner dog..

 

Mmmm - weiner dog!

 

Aren't they cute?!

 

 

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Originally Posted By: Leah

I'm going to go hide my face now...

 

You know I really would like to cook the neighbor's weiner dog...

 

Mmmm - weiner dog!

 

Aren't they cute?!

 

It's the nice quiet girls ya gotta watch...

 

I can hear you calling them now... "Here Mustard! Here Relish!"

 

:24:

 

 

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hummm weiner dog stew hummmm. Neighbor has two of them and hubby keeps mumbling something under his breath about becoming grease spots.

 

I like the look of that volcano. I have always just set my dutch oven down in our little webber.

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26, and amazed others thought about the tunnel! Here are a couple more for the list...

 

*- When you drive by trees you cannot see the forest for all the firewood.

 

*- When you cannot throw a pencil away or broken colors, and store them for later.

 

*- When you are worried you will not make this list, so you go fill up your car and buy 50 rolls of tissue.

 

 

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Originally Posted By: preparing

26, and amazed others thought about the tunnel! Here are a couple more for the list...

 

*- When you drive by trees you cannot see the forest for all the firewood.

 

*- When you cannot throw a pencil away or broken colors, and store them for later.

 

*- When you are worried you will not make this list, so you go fill up your car and buy 50 rolls of tissue.

 

:24:

 

Oh Prep-chica, you fit in so well... I loveeee the forest for the firewood! That was great.

 

 

*- When you can name 6 places for online seed ordering - 3 of them for heirloom.

 

*- When the words "Burpee catalog" makes you quiver with anticipation.

 

*- When you can quote the hours of operation for Sams Club, Walmart, Costco, or Tractor Supply.

 

*- When you can name 5 breeds of an animal, IE: 5 kinds of chickens (Rhode Islands), 5 kinds of goats (Nubians)... and know which is perfect for your area.

 

 

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*- You go shopping and are looking at plastic pails when someone else comes by and grabs one - turns to friend and says, " I need this to put my garden potting soil in so it will stay dry." And you think to yourself, "OH! they are NOT just for Preps or Bob's?"

 

 

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Right UK Guy, ...and you never even wondered why you were reading it in the humor forum....???

 

(Note to self: Self, copy and use as a checklist, there's good ideas there. Put one list in car backpack that is still sitting in the hallway... waiting for more stuff [before 1.gif uh oh -- or :smiley_shitfan: ]

 

....and another copy on the fridge. It does a LOT of good hanging there...!)

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The volcanos are a great little unit for using with dutch ovens. I only have a couple that I can't use on it though as they are way too big I am trying to get 2 more as I want the convertable one as well as the straight briquet one we have.

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