I Need To Vent

[Lilly]

I keep my nephew while my SIL works. She pays me $20 a week. I have never charged her for being late. Recently she changed jobs and has made it a habit of being late. My nephew is a year old. He cries and whines most of the day. When she gets home she packs him on her hip till bedtime because she don't get to spend a lot of time with him. Today was especially stressful My Husband is facing another sugery and he is crabby. The baby was crabby. I also have my 2 and a half year old grandbaby. Anyway after he had cried for 30 minutes and she was late at this point 15 minutes I took him home to his Daddy. His Daddy told me my SIL was tanning, and he had been laying down. I don't get to tan. I don't get two minutes to myself all day. Would it be wrong to charge if she was late? I feel like I am being taken advantage of.

[zinger]

Sister, if she's only paying $20 a week for a 1yo, ABSOLUTELY set a pick-up time and overtime rate!! She is not going to find ANYWHERE else to take that baby for $20 a week.

[Amber]

Boy oh boy, are you doing her a great favor! My kid is 16 and when she was at the sitter's her first 2 years, we paid $100 per week. We took her to the sitter's house.

 

No, you are not wrong to charge for overtime. Yes, do set a time limit and then charge overtime -- set an amount for that, too. If she can afford to tan, she can pay the overages. If she can't get the kid, what is the matter with the dad? Why doesn't he come get the kid?

 

They need to observe that you have a life, too. Set the rules and then follow them. Just think, what would Dr. Phil say?

 

Does she get her nails and hair done?? Just curious.

 

BTW, $20 is too cheap to charge for a week for full time. Does she bring food for the child. Does she bring diapers? If you are providing extra, bless you, but you need to make her responsible. We had to take food and diapers and wet wipes.

 

A suggestion if you are not already doing this, but our sitter had schedules for the kids, and they did things on a regular basis, every day. It helps if there is a routine, and might help the 'crabbiness' from his mom keeping him up. It would give you time also, when they are down for naps or rest time. Even if you just read to them, and get them used to that, it would mean a slow down time for you. He might just need a nap when he gets to your house.

 

Best Wishes to you.

Amber

[mom11]

Hi Lilly!

 

You are simply being used. Give the child to it's mother. You have enough stress. I wouldn't watch anyone's child for $20 a day, much less a week...Especially when you are already responsible for a sick husband and 3 other children. A child that whines all day is more stress. If the mom can go to the tanning booth, she can afford to pay daycare...Even if she can't, it's not your responsibility. There are funds in some places for low income mothers, to help pay daycare. Moms that are stay at home, are not responsible for the working moms children. It is a job for the day care provider...the same as it is for anyone else that WORKS! You should be expected to be treated with the same respect. I am in Ky. also, and I don't know any place that charges less than $75 a week and that is CHEAP!

[dogmom4]

Lily,

Out here people pay $500-600 dollars a month for infant care. I know that this person is family so you want to be nice...but if you break it down you aren't getting paid anything. And, if this mother can afford to pay for tanning she can afford to pay you more. Even if it's a relative, treat it as a business and tell her that your time is just as important as hers.

Stacy (who did daycare for 12 years-lots of lessons learned)

[coyotemist]

Hugs, hon! You deserve a break! We pay $3.50 an hour for school age children-and 1$ per minute overages!!! When the kids were younger I was thrilled to find care for them at $50 day, let alone $20 a week.

 

And I know every one else said this too, but I agree, if she can afford to tan, she afford to pay you. Besides, how selfish can you get, her baby needs her, and she's at the salon!!!

 

Take care of yourself, your kids need you, too!

 

 

[halfpint]

I agree with the others, you need to raise your rates to at least $80-100 per week, and have set hours. Rates after those times would be something like $5-10 per hour if she had prearranged for this time with your approval and 24 hours notice, or $20 per hour without 24 hour notice - if it is convienent for you. This is cheap, it's been at least 15 years since I had anyone in day care, and the overtime charge then was $1 per minute for the first 15 minutes, then $2 per minute for the next 15, then DHR was called to get your child if an alternate pickup person was not availble to pickup.

Dawn

 

[westbrook]

let me take your temperature!

 

a reasponable price is $125 per week and if you are feeling nice you can throw in meals. And at that it is below the average.

 

Overtime charges.. yes!

 

but really.. truely... it is time for her to find someone else. Let someone else without ties take care of your nephew. you have enough on your plate with the baby you have that really needs all of your attention, a husband that will be needing quiet time and to make a block of time for you.

 

Give her a week or two to find someone else.

 

 

 

 

[mommato3boys]

Where were you when my kids were in daycare --- $20 a week! Hon my baby is 17 and his brothers are 19 and 22 and I never paid $20 a week. Maybe $20 on date night but not a week. When the 19yr old came along I quit the bank and flipped burgers at McDonald's so I didn't have to pay $75 a week for two kids. I brought home more working t Mickey D's than I would have had I stayed at the bank. I still had to provide formula, diapers and wipes. She provided the food unless it was baby food then I had to provided that.

 

If I remember correctly she gave us a 10 minute window after 10 minutes it was $1 for each minute up to 20 minutes then after that it doubled every 10 minutes. At 6:00 the sheriff was called if there was no back up plan.

 

 

[Snowmom]

Man, Lilly, you are so underpaid. I was getting $20.00 or $25.00 37 years ago when I was babysetting. We lived in CA. and I babyset for different people, and I'm sure I was getting at least that much a week. And if I kept them for the weekend I think I was paid double. I mean, $20.00 for the two days.

 

Yes, you sure do need to charge her more in the first place, and if she can go get tanned, she sure can pay you a LOT more.

 

If you have been doing this for a while, then let her know that you are going to start charging her more in a couple weeks or so and also that there WILL be an extra charge for her being later than what she should be. After all, you have a life, or should have a life too.

 

From the sounds of it, you need to let her know that you will not be watching him during the time your husband is having surgery or for a while after that even. After all, he, your DH will need to have some peace and quiet after surgery.

 

 

[nana9]

In the 70's I charged $50. for 1 and 75 for 2 and they brought their diapers-baby food and milk. while thoes supplies were needed. Had set hours and anything over was over time unless arraignments where made ahead of time. I had child care in my home for 7 yrs. And sometimes you just have to tell them that its not working out. From what I understand father was at home taking a nap or resting? He should have picked child up sense he knew his wife was tanning. YOU are being use probabley because you are family and family don't all ways think that are out of line to ask for extra with out paying or assume you don't care to do extra for them. Will be prayeing for you and your family and hope your husband does alright.

[Dee]

In our small town our DS and DDIL pay their babysitter $2.50 an hour. She's open from 6:30-5:30 daily. If you pick your child up later than 5:30 she charges $4.00 per 15 mins., which, of course, figures out to $16.00 an hour.

 

I don't blame her in the least. I used to babysit and there was nothing worse than a mother deciding to go shopping, get her hair cut, etc. and not coming to pick up the child. They never seemed to understand that you had your own family and that your evenings were for them. When their work day was over so was yours! Now, unless they want to pay $16.00 an hour they pick them up immediately. It's a good thing!!!

 

The babysitter does know there are extinuating circumstances that can be worked around but NOT daily.

[WiccadStargazer]

Oh (((Lilly))), I feel for ya. Sounds kind of like when I was babysitting my neighbor girl, and I was getting a whopping $70 a week for that. QUIT! The stress level is so not worth the money!

[gardeningmouse]

Whoa!!! If you were babysitting my little one for $20 a week, I'd be bending over backwards to make sure I was considerate of your time. We pay $142 a week to have our 14mo in a daycare centre and need to provide diapers, wipes, any special foods or drinks, ect. The late charge is $10 for every 15 minutes and if you're late 3 times in a year, you're gone.

 

I'm guessing your SIL would qualify for that already.

[Jewlzm]

HOLY COW! 20 a week for a one year old? I would either raise the price totally or definately charge her for being late.... I do believe you are being taken advantage of dear.. kind hards get walked on alot these days.

[ArmyOfFive4God]

ITA with the "if she can afford to tan..." BUT I also want to add why she feels she doesn't have time to spend with the baby if SHE'S SPENDING EHR TIME TANNING! And YEAH, WTH is wrong with the "father?" Shouldn't HE be taking care of that child? Oh people ike that make me so mad! CHARGE THEM!!!

[Lilly]

I feel so stupid. She pays me $20 a day not a week. Typo. But I don't charge her if she is late.

[zzelle]

you are still getting taken advantage of charge for being late.

[SueC]

Lilly

 

I think you need to put it on a professional footing. Identify times that the Dad gets home and your sister and make that the pick up time with a penalty factor is stated. I know that I cared for a child and the Mum pushed the times. If start was 7am she would be at my place at 6.30 but then wouldn't leave until 6.45 so that she took advantage of the up to 15 minutes leeway. Then she would use the 15 minutes at the end of the day. So specify that penalty rates applied for overtime for the whole day and for the whole time the child is at your home. And be realistic - check out child care rates in your area. because that is what she would be paying if you didn't do it.

 

Sue

[ladybugsmom]

ARE YOU WRONG ???Are you kidding me? I have a sister just like this and you really need to set some boundaries. You already have a family you are responsible for. I know I'm new here and probably need to keep quiet but this really reminds me of my sister. You don't have to be mean but you do have a life.

[Nett]

Honey I live in Ky and 5 Years ago I was lucky to find someone who would watch my 1 and 3 year old for less than 350 a week. Now I don't know about you but that was with a discount for having both the kids and I provided diapers and wipes and for just one child in diapers around the age of one it would cost approximately $192 a week and that is providing diapers and wipes and if there is a formula you have to provide that and have it mixed.

[HSmom]

When I did daycare, I charged a late fee of $1/minute, payable the next morning. If it was a nice family that happened to be late one time, I waived it. But if it was a family that was always late and screwing up, I stuck it to them every time. It was in the contract they signed before we started.

 

[Jewlzm]

Lilly, Whether its 20 a day or 20 a week... you still are not being respected hun. Your time is precious, you have a family also. Set some boundaries and if they cant be followed.. then start charging for being late.

[cookiejar]

I'm started none of you are thinking of stealing Lilly for your kids...LOL.

 

((((Lilly))))

 

Your not stupid Chica, just a bit TOO kindhearted

[MommyofSeven]

I've had two types of daycares-one like you all describe with the open until a set hour and you must pick your child up by the time you say, etc., and another that was a 24/7 deal. With that one, she didn't care when you came as long as you paid the tab. Let me tell you, it was easy to get spoiled by that one. I'd call her and say "I need to run to the store after work." and she'd say "Stop and have a drink, too!". Maybe your sis has had this type of daycare and assumes they are all like that.

 

That being said, yes, you need to set some boundaries. Whether she's mistaken, or really is taking advantage, she needs to know that you have things you need to take care of and she needs to respect that.

 

And she carries him all night long cause she feels guilty but then takes time away from him to go tanning? No, she carries him all night long cause it's the easiest way for her to deal with his whining. She doesn't want to actively parent him. Encourage her to do so.

 

Mo7